Numb
by SDJ
Summary: Sakura hadn't meant to see what Sasuke hadn't meant her to. But she has and now she's falling in love, but with love comes sight, and Sakura is seeing the real Sasuke. His dark moods will disapear if she loves him enough though...right? Full Sum inside
1. Meant to see

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto characters nor "numb" by Linkin Park

Ok in my fic Sasuke-dono has returned to Konoha.

I need to find good drug abuse Sasuke fics. This definitely isn't one of them but maybe this'll suck enough for other people to try and make one just to show people that you're better than me XD.

P.S. if you _do_ do that leave me a link so I can read it!

**EDIT: **Full Sum: Sakura is falling in love all over again. But the shinobi are older now, things are different, deeper. As they get older things have to mature…even they're relationships. Sakura is being pulled into Sasuke's life, and though she's loving most of it, things are getting clearer. Old hurts rising anew and Sasuke's dark moods are becoming more focused to Sakura. But everything will be fine. Because they are in love and love conquers all things. If she just loves him enough, just protects him from the pain then it'll go away…right?

But as moods get darker and Sasuke's grip slips just a bit, things become so much clearer. Now Sakura has to help him before he falls away from her forever. Before he does something he'll regret.

Includes drug abuse (including but not limited to alcohol), citrus (just how much I don't know yet, depends on your tastes), angst, suicidal references, and other not K-rated stuff.

P.S. damn those plot bunnies wielding mallets

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Haruno Sakura's legs and hands instantly attached to the tree in front of her. She grinned as she leapt to another tree, both her feet and hands sticking to the tree. Her chakra control was one of the best in Konoha but this new technique was so much fun! She had chakra in her palms and feet so jumping from tree to tree like a cat was easy once she learned how. Sakura stopped to look around once more. She knew the way to Sasuke's new house by heart but now she was getting there a very different way and it was slightly jarring. She got her bearings and then was back to jumping around trying to get to his house. Sasuke was going to be so proud of her when he saw her technique!

The two-storied house rose out of the trees modestly. Sasuke had moved into the woods almost half a year before and now lived in a small two story (not including the basement and attic that none were allowed in) house. Sakura was now staring at the house from a tree right next to it. She cocked her head and her eye's ran over the house. She didn't see any movement in the house. Maybe he was training.

Sakura jumped off the tree to the ground below and glanced around. She sighed moodily, _I am **not **going home without at least checking. _She thought, starting towards the front door. Suddenly she froze. What was that? Music? She turned, walking slowly towards where she had heard the music. She stopped once more, looking at a small window about 5 inches from the ground. She knelt and looked into it to find that Sasuke was indeed in the house. She was staring into the basement, which had been turned into a home gym. The ground was covered in blue mats and 3 out of the 4 walls matched. There was a large wooden pillar in the middle of the room covered in a rather beat up blue mat. Across the room from Sakura was a desk which held a large boom box and standing in front of it was Uchiha Sasuke. His upper body was bare and he was wearing his white shorts. His feet were bare save the bandages and he was wrapping white bandages around his fist and wrist. She watched him finish his bandages and punch the 'next' button on his boom box. A song she quickly recognized made the walls shake in the room as Sasuke got into a fighting position in front of the wooden pillar.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless  
Lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure  
Of walking in your shoes _

She watched Sasuke's fists part the air as they were thrown into the mat. His face kept the emotionless mask she knew so well.

_Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you _

Sasuke's foot collided with the side of the pillar. Sasuke's pail skin rippled over his perfectly lean muscle. His small frame belying the power beneath. It seemed always to be that way with Uchiha's.

_I've  
Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you_

Sakura's eye's were drawn to the mark that still lie on Sasuke's neck and she saw his fingers touch it subconsciously between kicks. He stopped for just a moment and realized his fingers had gone to the mark. He dug his nails into the sensitive flesh and she watched him stand there for a moment. She didn't have to be an expert on Sasuke's emotions (though she was) to see he was seething. She winced remembering a man with a manic grin and hand-like wings sprouting from his back. That was the only time she had been afraid of Sasuke. _Orochimaru. _

_Can't you see that you're smothering me  
Holding too tightly  
Afraid to lose control  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you_

Sasuke's mask had fallen. He was furious and it was clear on his contorted face. He was moving quickly now, his movements shaking the pillar. He was so angry and it made her wonder what made him listen to this song while training.

_Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
Every step that I take is  
Another mistake to you  
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
And every second I waste  
Is more than I can take_

What had made him put this CD in? Why had he bought it? Why did he put himself threw this? These memories that most would rather forget? Sasuke had never told her anything from before he came back except that Itachi was dead.

_I've  
Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you_

Sakura watched Sasuke. His arms and legs were barely visible now and she knew he wasn't using chakra. He was gritting his teeth and she could see his chest heaving with anger and fatigue. He was dripping with sweat.

_And I know  
I may end up failing too  
But I know  
You were just like me  
With someone disappointed in you_

Sakura clapped her hands over her ears as she heard him let out a scream as his fist broke through the pillar and the mat. She felt tears spring to her eye's as she saw that behind the pillar was a mural. Half the wall was covered in a picture of the eldest Uchiha prodigy. Uchiha Itachi.

_I've  
Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you_

Sasuke collapsed on the ground right where he stood. He shook for a minute, then dragged himself to his feet. The music was fading out as he headed towards the boom box and hit the 'stop' button. He sunk to the ground in front of the boom box. The young Uchiha put his elbows on his knees, his hands clasping the sides of his head. He sat like that for awhile.

When he finally moved it was quick and he was suddenly clawing at the desk. He opened his desk and she watched him pull a bottle. He threw his head back and brought the mouth of the bottle to his lips. He swallowed and the bottle didn't recede until it was empty. It was obvious now that the bottle contained some kind of alcohol. Sakura was surprised, she had never seen Sasuke drink. But he was sure drinking now. She watched him put the bottle down. He stared at the ground in front of him and swallowed the alcohol in his mouth. Sasuke coughed and ran the back of his hand across his mouth. He gasped for air and, gripping the desk, he hauled himself up. He leaned against it and put his head back, letting the bottle fall to the matted floor. Slowly his head came down and his eyes opened. It happened in an instant. Suddenly their eyes were locked, both mirroring each other's shock and fear at being caught.

Sasuke's thought processes started back up first. He pushed himself away from the desk and he was running towards her. Sakura barely had time to stand and turn before Sasuke's fingers circled her ankle. She fell forward and attempted to kick him away instinctively. She didn't have time to. Sasuke flipped her over and gave her leg a ferocious pull. Suddenly he was sitting on her hips, his bony hips unconsciously grinding her own. She tried to push him off but he grabbed her wrists and held them above her head. "What are you doing!" He screamed at her. There was no fear coming from him now, only anger. "I'm sorry-I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"Answer me!"

"I just wanted to show you my new technique." she said tremulously.

"Yeah, right." He sneered. "You probably just wanted to spy on me! What? Checking up on me! Making sure I'm on the straight and narrow? Making sure I'm not just like aniki!" He screamed so close to her she could smell him. His usual intoxicating musk scent doused in sweat and alcohol.

"No! I'm sorry-I just wanted to-I didn't mean to see-not to see--" _I didn't mean to see… _she couldn't finish. She was afraid of this man, this stranger. Sasuke would never do this. Not him. He was angry, drunk. But he wasn't Sasuke.

"How dare you! What I do is none of your business! Just stay away from me!"

"I didn't mean to see what you didn't want anyone to see!" she finally yelled through her tears. He stared down at her for a minute. Stared at her tears, her fear. His head drooped a bit. He sighed, "I'm…sorry." he sighed again and slowly his fingers crawled from her wrists into her hands, between her fingers. He ran his palms up and down her own, clasping and unclasping their fingers. He gripped them and stared at her. "I…didn't mean to. I…just don't tell anyone. Alright? I'm fine. I'm sorry. I won't hurt you. I'll be fine as long as you don't tell anyone. No one can know-about any of it. The song, the picture, the alcohol. None of it." He slowly lifted his hips from hers and his hands came away also. He crawled off to the side of her. She whispered his name and sat up, afraid to be at his mercy once again. "Just forget it. All of it. I won't hurt you. I would never…just forget it."

"Sasuke…"

"Go. Run away from here. From me. I saw it…in your eye's. That's what you want to do isn't it? So go."

Sakura steeled herself, "No."

"What?" he replied. One eyebrow raised and his Uchiha eyes stared into her own. Even when he was shocked (somewhat) sober his eye's were frightening in themselves.

"Sasuke…you're only 17...you can't drink. And you shouldn't be drinking like that anyway. It's not healthy Sasuke! And…it's scary. _You're_ scary. I'm afraid. Even now. What you did…it's not like you. It's not like you to scare me, to try and hurt me-"

"I said I was sorry, didn't I?" he said in a monotone.

"But you've never done that! You've never been drunk in front of one of us!" she stopped there. Uchiha Sasuke's eye's had suddenly flown from her own to the ground next to him. She stared at him, knowing that this was a nervous habit Sasuke had always had-not meeting your eye's when he was guilty. A flood of memories hit her like a ton of bricks.

_No, he's fine Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme just caught a little stomach bug._

_No let's go to your house billboard brow!_

_Don't you think Sasuke-sama should be alone, Sakura-chan? Naruto-kun and I are gonna go to the Hyuuga tea ceremony. Would you like to come?_

"No. That's no true. Everyone else knew didn't they!" Sasuke's eyes rose from the ground and directly into hers, as if he hadn't done anything wrong. "Even Naruto?" she asked weakly. He nodded slowly. "He knew."

"So why didn't you tell me! I thought…I thought that maybe…_I_ was your friend too."

"…Did I let you down? I seem to have that affect on people."

Sakura looked at him with sad eye's. Was that what he thought? Slowly, on their own accord, her fingers reached out to brush his cheek. "Is that what you think? Do you think you let me down? That I'm angry with you? Sasuke." Her hand cupped his face ignoring the look of surprise on his face. He resisted the urge to close his eyes at her soft touch and pulled away a bit. "How could I be angry with you? I…still love you."

"Don't say stupid stuff like that. You don't understand."

"I don't care! I don't care. You can't let me down." She was on her knees in front of him now, looking down at the sitting Uchiha. "Don't love me Sakura. No matter what I look like…or my strength…don't. I'll just make you cry." He whispered even as he allowed her to hold his face in her hands. Even as she pulled his face closer to her own. "You can't let me down…if I hold you up." Her lips connected with his own and after a moment her tongue ran across his lips, begging for entrance. He allowed his lips to part and the kiss deepened. He tasted like alcohol but beneath that was his own taste. He wrapped his arms around her waist and because she was on her knees and he was sitting on his heels her hips fell against his lower chest.

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Phew! That was long. Did you know Linkin park is very good for writing moods? Yup, sure is. Truthfully I shouldn't start this when I have other stuff to update but I couldn't help myself. I love sasusaku's! If you didn't read the summary (which sucked I accept flames and anonymous reviews. Ja ne!

BTW: I don't think constructive criticism is a flame. I whole-heartedly accept it!


	2. Date on the boardwalk

YO! So I am updating quickly as requested!

Ok so this story takes a lot of inspiration from one of my fav books "The Wind Blows Backwards" By Hahn. I recommend it. Angst and about suicide's affect on others. Though unrelated a VERY good book is "What happened to Lani Garver?" by Plum-ucci. LOVE that book. Also my complete fav.

Disclaimer: I own nothing though I'm working on owning the 14th "Fruit Basket" XD

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Slowly the couple parted, both needing air. Sakura's lips were sweet and Sasuke found it hard to pull away but the need of oxygen was as large as his need for her. At least until he was forced to remember what life was like without her taste.

The two stared at each other for a moment. Both gasping. Both surprised, too surprised to speak for a moment. Slowly their heads came back from the clouds and their intertwined limbs were pulled apart. Sasuke had risen onto his knees, revealing the inches he held over her. Had she forgotten how strange his eyes were? No. That she couldn't forget, but she hadn't looked deeply into them for awhile now. Her eye's searched his and for once she didn't have to look very hard to read him. The eyes were dark with worry. "We shouldn't have done this." He whispered, standing. He reached out a hand to her and she took it, pulling herself up. She gripped his hand, not wanting him to pull away. She said his name once more. He shook his head; prying his hands from hers he turned on his heel…a little too quickly. He stumbled and grabbed a tree for balance, bringing a hand to his head. Sakura grabbed his hand, frowning at him. "Not a word…And don't look at me like that. I'm not _drunk_. Just…buzzed."

"It's the same thing."

"Just get me to my house before I pass out. My head hurts."

"That's what happens when you drink like that." she murmured. He glared at her as she pulled his arm around her shoulders.

Sasuke leaned on her, one hand on his head the other gripping her shoulder. The world was spinning around him, it made his eye's roll and his head hurt. But he didn't mind so much. Thought processes almost stopped when he was like this, but frankly he liked it. It felt amazing. There was no thought, everything was funny and colorful. He loved being drunk, not caring about anything. He looked up and saw that while he was getting lost in himself she had gotten him to his house and was half-dragging him up the stairs to his room. Finally he plopped down on his bed. She went to find him some clothes and Sasuke pulled another bottle from beneath his bed. He put his head back and had it half-drained before Sakura ripped it from his hands. "Sasuke what are you doing!" He grabbed at the bottle but she easily eluded him. He sighed and fell backward on the bed, his arms outstretched on either side of him, looking proud of himself. Her fingers itched to smack him.

Sakura sighed and tried to calm herself down. She was in the middle of counting backwards from 10 when he spoke. "Come here, Sakura. Sit next to me. Or better yet, _lay _next to me." Sakura's eye's opened to look at him. He was smiling softly, completely relaxed. She took a step closer and allowed herself to be pulled down next to him. He crossed his leg over hers and wrapped his arms around her torso. She placed her hands on his upper arms and she felt his lips come close to hers. But they didn't just touch; instead they ran over her eyelids and cheeks, her jaw line. He whispered softly. Stupid little nonsense words she couldn't understand…but she didn't need to. Just the soft lips and words were enough to make her hands run up his arms onto his shoulders. Finally his lips came to hers and took them possessively. One of his hands ran across her thigh, the other down the smooth column of her throat. She felt his hands going lower and that stupid conscience of hers had to pipe up. _What are you doing! He's drunk! Can't you taste the alcohol, smell it! You shouldn't do this; it's taking advantage of him. And of you too. He doesn't know what he's doing. _

_But…_

_No buts! If you love him you'll let go. You need to stop this…Now!_

Suddenly Sakura was sitting up and Sasuke had raised an eyebrow at her. His arms were loose around her hips and he was frowning at her. "What's wrong? I won't hurt you." His fingers were running up from her hips to run across her ribs. The touch was intoxicating and she had to jump up to keep from being dragged in again. "I-I'm sorry. But we can't do this." Before he could say anything she rushed out the door.

She ran downstairs and into the living room. She stopped there, waiting. Waiting for Sasuke to yell at her, to kick her out. She was already crying when she felt soft hands on her arms. Sasuke didn't turn her around, simply wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Hey, listen. I'm sorry ok? I still want this. I still…want _you_. But not like this, right? You don't want it to happen like this." Sakura let out a small hiccupping sob during a short pause. "Come back in 2 days. I'll sober up and we'll go somewhere, ok? No crazy stunts. Just normal you and me. And no advances, I swear. That is…" he nuzzled her neck, "…unless you want them." After a moment she turned to look at him. "Promise?" she sniffled. He smirked, "Promise." With that his lips came forward and touched hers, soft as butterfly wings.

Haruno Sakura stared out of her window. She sighed. "Sakura? That Uchiha still isn't here?"

"No mom. But he will be, just wait." Her mom sighed behind her. She hadn't told her mother much about her visit to the Uchiha estate. Only that she was going with him somewhere the next day. Needless to say her parents had been against it. Sasuke was an Uchiha and was also a former missing-nin. Of course her father hated this fact, being a hunter-nin. And her mother hated that he was 1. An Uchiha, everyone knew the story it was basic history now (Sasuke had skipped that entire week of academy) 2. He was one of the most sought after men in Konoha. But in the end Sakura was 18 and was quite capable of making her own decisions (as she had told he parents).

Sakura instantly brightened as she noticed a dark figure walking through the small crowd that the Konoha streets were always covered with. She jumped up and ran to the door, yelling a 'goodbye' to her mom. She didn't give her mother a chance to object as she burst into the summer air.

CRASH

Though she hadn't expected Sasuke to be right outside the door. (A/N: --') Sakura blushed profusely as she backed out of the Uchiha's chest. She grinned sheepishly up at him. (Of course Sasuke hadn't fallen, Uchiha's don't fall) Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, "Rush much?" She glared up at him but quickly forgot her anger as she felt his hand in hers. He intertwined their fingers and turned away, leading her down the street by the hand. She beamed, oh if Naruto could see them now. He'd probably try to kill Sasuke for this. "So where are we going Sasuke-kun?" she said, trying to control her wondering eye. Sasuke was wearing long baggy white pants and a black muscle shirt. His hands and wrists were covered in bandages and vaguely wondered why he was hiding them. His voice drew her back. "You'll see. And stop that."

"Stop what?"

"You look like you're trying to eat me with your eyes or something." Sakura flushed. _Oh no! I didn't know he could see that._

_**Well come on, you were undressing him with your eyes and you know it. Don't forget he's an Uchiha. **_

_Yeah…Hey where'd you come from? I thought I got rid of you years ago!_

_**Well I'm back. Deal with it. I wonder where we're going!**_

_Where _I'm_ going. You can go crawl back to the hole you came from. _

_**That's mean!**_

_Leave!_

_**Humph…**_

There were no more voices in Sakura's head, making it clear her conscience was gone. She sighed gratefully. "What?"

"Oh nothing." Sakura smiled up at Sasuke who raised an eyebrow at her but ignored it. Sasuke suddenly lifted a hand and pointed. "There." Sakura looked up and grinned. They were headed towards the boardwalk and in Konoha that meant one thing: the Konohagurke Museum. "Yay! I've never been here! I always wanted to go though!"

He smirked and pulled a few dollars to pay the man at the door. Sasuke and Sakura ran threw the four floors of the museum, pulling levers, looking threw things. They were children again, lost in a world of old jutsu's and illusions even Sakura couldn't see through. Sakura even caught Sasuke smiling softly a couple times.

After their trip through the museum the both ate lunch in a small café outside. Sasuke had coffee (black) and a donut, while Sakura had apple juice and a cinnamon bun. Sasuke looked at Sakura over his cup. "Having fun?" She smiled and nodded, mouth full of cinnamon bun. He took another sip of coffee to hide his smile. "Hey, after this, wanna go see the seals?" Sakura asked with shining eyes. Sasuke nodded.

"They're so cute!" Sakura squealed happily. Sasuke smirked "You're cute." he thought as he watched the seals swim round and round in the cement tank. "Hey Sasuke? Remember when we had to write that report on seals during academy when we were 10?"

"For 'Appreciation of life' right?" Sasuke replied, remembering the class's name.

"Yeah. We were partners and we wrote a report on how the seals were being skinned."

"You cried when we had to explain the clubbing of the baby seals."

"Yeah. Sorry about that." she blushed.

"Don't be. It was cute. I wanted to kiss you. What would you have done if I had?" he looked at her and she blushed. This time Sasuke was sober and the words were his own. Instead of saying she would have kissed back she shrugged and pretended not to know. She pointed at the seals that swam round and round in the tank, never getting anywhere "Don't you wish we could set them free? Release them into the ocean and wave as they swam away?" Sasuke turned and frowned at the sea in front of them. It lead straight out to the ocean. "Do you remember the report, Sakura? What good would it do if we let them go? We may be sending them to their deaths. At least they're safe here." After a moment Sakura nodded. Her face had fallen, though and she looked sad. Sasuke took her hand and lead her down the boardwalk. "I made you sad. I'm sorry."

"No. It was the truth. I should've known that." Sasuke looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He spun around and stood in front of her, shoving his face in hers. He contorted his face into an ugly gargoyle face, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes. "I bet you can't do that." Sakura shook her head; she didn't want to make herself look ugly in front of Sasuke. He made a face, "Try." she shook her head. Sasuke stepped back and suddenly he was doing back flips down the boardwalk. He then front-flipped back to her and walked around her on his hands as stuff fell from his pockets. Coins, his wallet and a few more objects hit the ground with a clatter. "I won't stop till you laugh." And she did, she almost doubled over laughing. Sasuke flipped over onto his feet and quickly grabbed something to her right and shoved it into his pants. He then started picking up the rest of his stuff (though he left the coins on the ground). "Why don't you pick up the coins?" Sakura asked, pink from laughing. He shrugged, "Ever seen a child's face when he finds a quarter on the ground? And I don't need them. They jingle and I hate that." She smiled and took his hand as they walked down the boardwalk, knowing he was lying.

It was then that they noticed a man on the corner selling balloons. Big red hearts. "What about a balloon? Will that make you happy?" He turned and was next to the man holding out 2 bucks before she could say anything. He came back with a red balloon bobbing happily above his head. He put it in her hand. "Here. Happy now?" she smiled and nodded. Then noticed something behind him. "Looks like we have an audience." she murmured. Sasuke turned half around to notice a group of 6 looking at them and whispering disapprovingly. Young men obviously mad that the beautiful, top med-nin Sakura was with Uchiha Sasuke. He smirked and turned to her, "Let's give 'em a thrill." Sasuke's arms went around Sakura's waist then, and his lips came to hers. He kissed her gently, yet possessively and she returned it whole-heartedly. When they finally parted Sasuke put his head back and stared. "Your balloon." Sakura's big red heart was floating away, up into the sky. "I'll go get you another." Sasuke turned and was about to run back to the corner and get her another when Sakura grabbed his arm. She remembered the seals, swimming round and round, never getting anywhere. "We set it free. We liberated it." Sasuke smirked and put an arm around her waist. They walked down the street like that, their arms around each other, hips bumping with every other step.

"I have to get home." Sasuke whispered against her lips. He had pulled her into an alley by her home and Sakura had kissed him. Now they had been in that alley for about 15 minutes. Sasuke drew his head back from her (he was against a wall so he couldn't go far) his voice was low, thick. His eye's half-lidded. She kissed him once more and he had to remind her of the time before she drew away. She made sure she didn't look like she had just made-out with an Uchiha for the last half-hour and Sasuke gave himself a once over, fixing his shirt.

Sasuke took her hand and they both walked towards Sakura's house. They stopped at the door and Sasuke gave her a quick kiss. The door opened not a second after his lips left hers. A man with dark hair and green eye's was glaring at Sasuke. Sasuke nodded, "Haruno-san."

"Uchiha Sasuke." the man replied icily. Sakura's hand fell from his and she turned to leave. The 2 men continued to stare at each other. The eldest Haruno glaring at him and the eldest Uchiha staring with clear determination. Sakura walked past her father and into the house. The Haruno stayed. "Where did you two come from?"

"The boardwalk." Sasuke matched the ice in the man's tone.

"You shouldn't take such a tone when you're taking out a man's daughter."

"I apologize. I don't mean to take a tone. It happens naturally."

"Comes from undercover missions, doesn't it? Comes from when you want to threaten someone. I guess you do that naturally when you're a missing-nin."

"No it doesn't. I'm not a missing-nin. I'm a Jounin of Konoha. My tone _is _natural though. It's natural for Uchiha's. But you'd know that, wouldn't you?"

"You're right. I know it well. I've had to hunt down one too many Uchiha's."

"And yet I was the one to kill my brother and I was the one who chose to come back."

"Yeah. I just wish it was me who got to take down that Itachi-teme."

"Don't call him that! Don't call him that. You never knew Itachi. And to you my brother is Itachi-dono."

"To me that monster is better off dead." Sasuke felt his chest heave. If there was one thing you didn't do, it was to insult Uchihas' around Sasuke.

"Don't speak of which you do not know and do not understand."

"Oh I understand quite well. You might not have known it, but I was one of the people to clean up after that boys mess." Sasuke's fist balled up.

"How dare you! You don't even know what my brother's middle name is, and yet you claim to understand us! You could never understand a man like my brother! You don't know what we went through in that house! Don't ever claim to know or understand us! Your life is not ours and a man like you would never understand what we went through!" Sasuke all but screamed. He was angry, righteously angry. That was when Sakura and her mother appeared at the door. "What's going on here?" Sakura's mother demanded of her husband. This was the first time Sasuke had seen her up close. She looked a lot like Sakura except for her brown eyes. Sakura came to Sasuke's side and took his hand. She looked worried. "What's wrong?" she whispered, ignoring her mother who was scolding her father. Sasuke couldn't look at her. He was shaking with anger and even with his lips closed she could see him grit his teeth. "I shouldn't have yelled." Sasuke gave a small bow then turned around, walking into the darkness. Sakura turned to look angrily at her father who couldn't meet her eyes. She felt tears prick her own and ran upstairs.

Sasuke ran until he was out of sight of the Haruno's. He ran angrily down the street until he could duck into an alley. He shoved his hands into his pockets and felt something in his right pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it. A simple orange bottle with a white label. It was dated almost a month ago with "Take one every night for 6 months." in big letters on its front. It was almost half gone now. He quickly opened the bottle's child-proof cap and shook a few out onto his palm. He put his head back and swallowed them.

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SO here's the 2nd chappie! I hope you like it! Please review! They help me update quicker! Its 5 pages long. Btw, I will usually update quicker than this! But I had something to do all day Saturday so I couldn't write much. And be happy, I missed half of Liar, Liar for you guys!

I've also noticed that I have 10 alerts and 6 reviews, so would those who don't review, would you please? It only takes a sec. And it makes me sad when people who read don't review. But I'm being rude, aren't I? I'm sorry. Don't be mad at my poor little ficcie for my rudeness though. It likes you.

Important (kinda): Yup. The Uchiha massacre is part of basic history in the academy. Sasuke didn't want to listen to people talk about his parents like objects of history. Would you? Watching people chew gum, sleep, and stare at you while you're reliving the murder of your clan? And I'm sorry about the bad argument between Haruno-san and Sasuke. It was bad. I hadn't meant to be make Haruno-san seem so cruel (It's hard to write stuff like that when you're parents are watching North and South behind you!). If you have any pointers please feel free to tell me. Lots of luv, Ja ne.


	3. Drugs

Ohaiyo! I'm quite happily working on my fic! I really like working on this! It's fun! Plus my beloved reviewers make me happy! You're all so kind!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, though I finally got my 14th Fruits Basket today! It cost me 14 bucks, but who cares? You can't put a price on love!

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Sasuke sighed as he felt the pills slide backwards across his tongue and down his throat. He didn't even know why he had brought them. Today was supposed to be a _good_ day. On _good_ days he was supposed to go through the day content and, in a sense, happy. He wouldn't need anything to keep him straight, nothing to make him feel normal. He wouldn't drink or take anything. It was a _good _day. But it seemed that those days were becoming fewer and fewer now. Did that mean things were getting worse? Probably.

He closed his eyes. The pills were pain medication, subscribed for the mark that still seared his lower neck. He brought a hand up and ran it across the mark. The pain medication must have kicked in because there was no pain.

That mark still hurt after all this time. It hurt more than anyone could ever imagine. He felt a few indentations around the mark. He knew they were from his fingernails. He couldn't count how many times he'd dug the skin in fits of pain. Usually at night. While he was being choked by the silence in his room. That's when it hurt the most. He was always tossing and turning until he decided the pain wouldn't stop no matter how many ways he turned. Then he would lie on his side, his body writhing and gripping the mark. He wasn't even aware of the blood that slipped threw his fingers as he dug his nails into the mark. He remembered throwing pillows and blankets, lifting himself onto his knees and shrieking with it. He remembered releasing those primal screams, groping in the dark for _something_. _Anything _to stop the pain, whether it is alcohol, pills…a kunai.

Now a sound reached his ears and he turned his head, the bottle disappearing into his pocket. To his right, in the opening of the alley, stood six figures. They were cloaked in the blanket of darkness. "Can I help you?" Sasuke asked. One of the men came forward. "Yeah, now that you mention it, you can."

Sasuke's response was a raised eyebrow.

"Stay away from Sakura! She's too good for you." the man spat.

"How old are you? 5? 6?"

"You insolent child! I'm 23!"

"A child? Oh no. It's been a long time…since I could be considered a child. But you guys picked the wrong night to mess with me." Slowly Sasuke came forward. He was smirking sadistically, hands in his pockets. The pills gave him a deliciously numb feeling and he felt invincible when he took them. Not that he wasn't close enough. The men bravely kept their ground, even when Sasuke's eyes burned with the power of his Sharingan. He walked forward, every step deliberate as he cracked his knuckles.

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Sakura jumped from rooftop to rooftop, searching desperately for the Uchiha heir. She looked down all of the alleys and (with unease) all the gutters, hoping not to find him in one of those. She was caught by a yelp and instantly ran towards the sound. She stopped on the rooftop of a house and stared into the alley.

It was definitely Sasuke. It was obvious that he had only frightened one of the men who had fallen backwards. She called his name and jumped down beside him. She was pushed behind him the second her feet touched the ground. She gripped his shoulder and looked over it. The men were pulling up there comrade and scolding him for his cowardice. "Sasuke what's going on here?" she hissed. He wasn't quite so secretive with his answer. "These dips thought it'd be fun to try and take on an Uchiha. Isn't that right, boys? Who's an insolent child!" Sakura looked up at him. He was grinning. _ Grinning. _Sakura's eyes widened in fright. _The curse mark? No, there's no abnormal chakra. And it was sealed a while ago by Kakashi-sensei. Then…did he? _"Sasuke? Did you…do something? Were you drinking?"

"No. No one around here lets me drink at the bars. Minor, remember?"

"But…you don't seem yourself. What's wrong?"

"…nothing." he didn't meet her eyes.  
"Don't look away from me, Uchiha!" Her tone had risen now, forgetting the men at the end of the alley. "Did you do something! Did you…_take_ something? Like…something bad?" she didn't want to say the word 'drugs', afraid it would make the situation real. Sasuke still wouldn't look at her; instead he kept his eyes over her shoulder. She had to grab his face to make him look at her. But even that was a mistake. Suddenly she was thrown against the wall. Sasuke's Sharingan was blazing in front of her face. "Don't Touch. Me. So what if I took something? Why is that any of your business! What I do…you would never understand the reason why. You wouldn't know. You don't understand! You could never understand."

"Then teach me! Teach me what hurts! Show me."

"I told you before…but you didn't listen. I told you not to love me. I told you I'd make you cry. I guess…it may just be time to show you. Maybe then you'll understand. You'll understand that maybe…maybe this is all a mistake. That you shouldn't love me."

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Ooooo, I'm so cruel! I KNOW IT'S SMALL! I'M SORRY! But after I put this up I'm starting on the 3rd chappie tonight! It may even be done before you finish reading this one. ; b don't hurt me, I love ya! Ja ne!


	4. The most foolish traveler in the world

Hi. Are you guys ok? I'm sorry ch. 3 was so small! I still love you! So here, the 4th chapter ASAP!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my Furuba! huggles Furuba

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"You couldn't convince me that loving you is wrong. It's impossible, Sasuke!" Sakura said with tears in her eyes.

"You say that now. But wait…wait until you take a peek into my head…and see how screwed up I am. Then you'll realize. You'll know." He whispered darkly. A shadow ran across his face and lodged itself in his eyes. Slowly Sasuke released Sakura and she fell away from the wall. He drew her into his chest and she winced when he touched the quickly forming bruise on her back. "When do you have to get back?" he whispered in her ear. "...They don't know I'm gone. And I'm not going back right now." she said hesitantly, but with determination. After a moment he nodded against her shoulder. Then in a puff of smoke they were gone. A group of six just stared, dumbfounded, with one thought running through their minds. "WTF?"

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When Sakura opened her eyes she only saw trees. She gripped Sasuke tightly, afraid of the darkness. His grip tightened in response to hers. "Don't worry. We're only in training ground number 2. It's not far from your house."

"Why?"

"…Just in case you want to run away."

"I won-"

"Just…don't say anything till you see. Maybe then you'll understand why I do what I do." His hand reached for hers and took it, gripping it tightly in his own. He headed for a hill and they both walked up it together. It was a bit of a steep climb and Sakura stumbled a couple times. But she didn't fall, no, she had Sasuke's hand. And that hand kept her up on her feet, because she was positive that if she released that hand Sasuke would leave her behind. He would walk away, further down his path to self-destruction. And she would lose him forever.

They finally reached the top of the hill and sat down. They sat there for a few minutes in content silence, breathing hard after the climb. Finally Sasuke looked at her. "Do you want to see? You can use it can't you? You can pry into people's minds with that jutsu. So if you want…I'm willing to show you. Just don't tell me I ruined your life Sakura. Don't tell me that." She looked at him, trying to search his face. She found, and was shown, nothing. She nodded. She put her hands together, making seals, as Sasuke explained. "Don't go to deep, just look at what I show you. If you go to deep I am not held responsible for the psychological trauma you might induce." She nodded, admittedly a little frightened. She finished the last sign and looked at him. He nodded and tilted his head to her. She placed his hand on the sides of her head and they stared into each other's eyes as Sasuke's hands came to hers. Finally he closed his eyes and Sakura joined him. _Open-mind jutsu! _She thought, pushing chakra threw her hands.

Sakura gasped and threw her head back as a flood of memories invaded her mind. Sasuke's memories. Images with no sound.

_People dying all around, killed by someone the little boy couldn't see/ a man with red eyes standing above the dead bodies of a man and woman/ that man's smile. A strange man's head twisting around tree's to bite into a young man's neck. Flashes of red that Sakura knew meant pain. A lone figure walking out of the gates of Konoha, a voice crying in the back ground, asking to be brought along/ "Sakura…thank you."/ A team of five bowing/_ _a full moon. A large cave/ a secret hideout inside/ a man that looked like a snake/ Orochimaru…/ his evil grin. Him and a provocatively dressed woman in the doorway of a sparsely furnished room/ a young man curled up against the wall/ "I told you, I won't! Just leave me alone!" "Sasuke…you'll have to learn to grow up at some point. This is a good way to"/ The boy turned around and watched the woman string chakra threads between her fingers/ The dark-haired shinobi's limbs tied to the four bedposts/ "Don't you dare, you whore!" "Calm down, little one."/ The boy's thrashing body, struggling against his bonds/ screaming, crying, begging/ "Stop! Please god stop! Orochimaru help! Help! Someone! Aniki!"/ a bare woman standing above a sobbing boy, still attached to the bed/ the boy curling up in a ball, still sobbing and trying to hide his bare body with a blanket/ "It wouldn't have hurt so much if you didn't thrash around, little one." / "Get…out…" the woman left/ the boy sobbed wretchedly. A man with dark hair stood in a sea of bodies/ blood covering him/ a katana in one hand/ a man with red eyes staring up at him, smiling, and then his black eye's closing. The looming gates of Konoha/ a bleeding boy dragging himself inside/ a blonde in orange running towards him/crying the blonde's arms around him/ the boys sobbing too, for different reasons. A pink-haired kunoichi in a blue summer dress/ in a white dress/ _"Stop Sakura! Not so deep!"/ _A pink-haired woman staring up at him/ her smile/ her tears/ her smile/ her eyes/ _"STOP!"

Sakura gasped and fell backwards on the ground. A dark-haired man in front of her, hands on the side of his head, face contorted in pain. She sat up and looked at him. "I'm so sorry Sasuke! I didn't mean to pry!" she said, bringing her hands to his. He flinched away and his face came up to look at her. "YOU SEE! I TOLD YOU!I told you! This pain won't go away! You saw it didn't you! Why I do what I do! I can't help but remember! Remember that woman and what she did to me." Sasuke's arms pulled around himself and tears found their ways threw his eyelids to fall down his cheeks. He put his face in his hands and sobbed. Wretched sobs, littered with pain. He choked on them and coughed.

Sasuke had been right about one thing, she wanted to run. She wanted to leap up and run away, just so she didn't have to hear his crying. Her mind ignored what she had just saw, and she wasn't afraid of the darkness that was closing in as the moon was covered be an inky black cloud. At that moment she asked herself what she could do for Sasuke. She decided to stay by his side…

…forever.

Sakura threw her arms around Sasuke and allowed her tears to fall onto his neck. She pulled him against her chest and whispered his name into his neck, his ears and cheeks, his lips. She felt him grip her shirt. "Don't…" he whispered as her lips took his possessively, she ignored him and kissed him harder. After a few minutes she pulled away. Sasuke's arms flew around her body and he held her so tightly it hurt the large bruise on her back. "Sasuke…"

"Sakura…please come with me. Help me. I can't be alone tonight- I'll lose control! I know I will. I can feel it now. Please help me. Don't leave me alone. Don't let her get me." He whispered the last part. Yes, she said, yes. She would go with him. She'd go to his house, she would sleep in his bed, and she'd hold him all-night and protect him. No one would come near him. They'd be safe.

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Sasuke slowly opened the door to his house. It was eerily quiet. Sasuke walked in and they removed their jackets. Sakura felt tears tug at her eyes when she saw his arms. There were scars running up his arms. They were clean and perfect. The work of an expert, which Sasuke was. She could see the world "help" written on the inner of his right wrist. In her mind she could see him writing it, desperate for someone to protect him, but there's no one to do it. Crying for help but receiving no answer. Sasuke caught her looking and followed her eye's to his arm. He hid it behind his leg, ashamed.

She turned away, not wanting to cry again.

Sakura walked towards the kitchen and opened the fridge. She wasn't really hungry but eating would give them a chance to rethink this. To change their minds. Because she knew that she wouldn't deny him anything now. She couldn't. Whatever he wanted from her, she would give. "How about some ramen?" she called, glancing behind her. She was in time to catch Sasuke's eye's roaming her figure slowly. He caught her eyes but didn't look away. Instead he spoke still staring at her. "No. I had to endure that when I treated Naruto this morning. I swear he'll make me go bankrupt." Sakura laughed, knowing quite well that Sasuke's fortune couldn't be exhausted that easily. Suddenly he wasn't a fragile stranger anymore, she knew just how to act around him. She pulled out a package from the freezer. "How about Lo-cal pizza?" he smiled and nodded.

She shoved it in his microwave and turned to see Sasuke plop down in a chair. He put his face in his folded arms and sat there. She walked over to him and he turned to her, burying his face in her stomach, his arms around her. She placed her hands on his head and they sat there just like that until the microwave beeped. They sprang apart as quickly as if Sakura's parents had walked in. Away from the warmth of Sasuke's body Sakura shivered as she grabbed the pizzas. She put them on some plates and sat down next to Sasuke. Before she could pick up her fork, though, Sasuke's hand grabbed her own. "Maybe I shouldn't have shown you that. Maybe you're sorry you got mixed up with me." Sakura shook her head. "I just wished I could do something else for you. To help you."

"You're doing all I want Sakura. Coming with me, putting up with me. It must be so scary for you. I…I must scare you. With all the things I've done to you. I'm sorry." She shook her head again. "I love you, Sasuke." she whispered. She tried to put as much feeling into it as possible. And this time Sasuke said it back. "I…love you too, Sakura." They stared at each other. Sasuke pushed away from the table and suddenly he was kneeling on the side of her chair. He whispered the words into her hair and ears as he held her face, just like she had done. He kissed her and she kissed back.

A few minutes later they pulled apart. Sasuke glanced at the discarded pizza. "Do you really want that?" he asked with mild disgust. She looked. The cheese was waxy and the toppings askew, the crust was limp and soggy. (A/N: EW. Don'tcha hate that?) She shook her head slowly and Sasuke pulled her up by her hands. He kissed her. "Let's got to my room." he said. She followed him like a zombie (Zombie! EW!… I didn't get much sleep). They walked into his room and Sakura walked around, looking at his stuff like she had never seen it before. She crouched in front of a small bookcase full of history and Forbidden Jutsu books. She pulled out a book that looked out of place on the bottom shelf. It was a child's bedtime book. She opened it and Sasuke suddenly appeared next to her. He reached over and placed a hand on it. "Don't. It's just a stupid kid's book. I just couldn't throw it away." she ignored him and read the first page. She was shocked. "I know this book! My mom used to read it to me when I was young." she looked at Sasuke and recited the words from heart. "There was once a man who was the most foolish traveler in the world."

"He was foolish because he was easily fooled. Any time someone lied to him to get something from him, he would give it to them and, crying, say "Please be happy."

They stared at each other, amazed they had memorized the same book. They continued like that to the very last page. "And while the monster munched on his eye's he said "I must give you something in return." But even that was a lie. The monster only dropped a piece of paper that said 'fool' on it."

"But tears flowed from the traveler's eye sockets and he said "Thank you. This is the first time I was ever given anything." And as he lie there crying…he died."

The two stared at each other. Sakura replaced the book. "Mom used to read that to me." Sasuke explained. Sakura nodded. They stared at each other for a few moments. Sasuke spoke first. "What do you want to do Sakura?" he whispered. She looked away. She knew what she wanted to do but she was afraid to say. Slowly, as if she would brake if he handled her too roughly, he turned her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. The kiss was slow and deliberate. Sakura could almost feel herself melting. When they pulled apart Sakura's pink shirt was undone in the front and Sasuke's hands were soft and sweet on her sides. But Sasuke's eyes were dark with worry. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered. She stared at his eyes. His dark eyes. "Yes." She'd said it. She'd meant it.

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Ok people's, vote time! Lemon or no? (Either way these two are doing it, I just want to know if you want to read it).

Ok so I told you I'd update quickly! Love you all! Ja ne! Oh BTW, this is the story "The most foolish traveler (disclaimer: This is an original Natsuka Takaya work):

"There was once a man who was the most foolish traveler in the world. He was foolish because he was easily fooled. Any time someone lied to him to get something from him, he would give it to them and, crying, say "Please be happy." When he had given away his last piece of clothing (and everything else ho owned) he was ashamed and decided to walk in the woods. When the monsters of the forest saw him the wanted to eat him, so they also tricked him. He gave away his arms and legs and body, he even gave his eyes to the last monster he met. And while the monster munched on his eye's he said "I must give you something in return." But even that was a lie. The monster only dropped a piece of paper that said 'fool' on it. But tears flowed from the traveler's eye sockets and he said "Thank you. This is the first time I was ever given anything." And as he lie there crying…he died."

Yes a strange story but very good. Would you laugh at it? Or be sorry for the traveler? Don't be. Pain, suffering, it's pointless to think about them. The traveler didn't. When you close your eyes, what do you see? Something you lost? It was much better in the manga I read bc it had little pictures. It's from Furuba. (fruit's basket)


	5. The other woman LEMON

Ok so here's the next chappie! Ready for your enjoyment!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Though as soon as possible I will own the 15th Fruit's Basket! Muahahahahaha! (Still not much sleep).

AND TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE ATTEMPTING TO RIDE EVERYONE ELSE'S REVIEWS AND READ THE STORY WITHOUT REVIEWING-I SEE YOU OO

Dun dun dunnnnn……lol. No I'm just kidding, I love you guys too.

-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5 (have you noticed I like doing this:)

Sasuke must have seen something in her eyes, heard something in her voice because suddenly he was kissing her again with renewed vigor. He wrapped his arms around her and stood up, pulling her with him. She gave a small yelp of pain as Sasuke's hands came into contact with her back. He pulled away, surprised. She placed her hands beneath the back of her shirt and against the wound. After a few moments it was healed. Sasuke frowned at her and muttered an apology. Sakura's only response was to walk back into his arms, kissing him again.

Sasuke's hand came up to her cheek. He placed a thumb beneath her chin and his fingers behind her jaw. He kissed her lips, and then his lips started to trail down her jaw line and neck. She whispered his name and he could feel her vocal cords vibrate against his tongue and lips. He asked her to say something else and nipped the skin covering her throat when she told him she loved him. She elicited a small moan, her hands giving the front of his shirt a tug. He wrapped his arms around her and slipped an arm beneath her knees releasing her sandals. She gave a yelp of surprise as she was lifted up and her sandals fell. She attached herself to Sasuke's strong neck as she was placed on his bed. He crawled across her and slipped under the covers next to her. She was trembling but he held her tightly. "I love you, Sakura."

"I love you too."

**Beginning of Lemon**

Sasuke kissed her again and he ran a hand from her shoulder down to her hip. He pulled away from her and sat up. He crossed his arms across his front and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and off. Sakura was sitting up now too and, remembering the marks she knew were on her neck (compliments of Sasuke's teeth), she plunged her tongue to his bare stripped heart. Sasuke gave a small gasp of surprise but soon lie still on his back and let her explore, uttering a few sounds as he placed one hand on the top of her head. After she had kissed about every newly revealed piece of skin she kissed his lips. It was Sasuke's turn.

He started by flipping Sakura onto her back, supporting his weight on his hand as he put his other on one side of her already open shirt. He pushed it aside and pulled it off of her completely. She flushed cutely and covered herself. Sasuke smirked and looked at her mischievously when he saw that there was nothing underneath the shirt (he wasn't paying attention before). He ran his lips along her collar, nipping at the base of her neck as he took her wrists in his hands. He gently pried them apart, kissing her chest. She made small sounds and gasped. He drew lips down the middle of her chest and she gasped, her back arching a bit. He got the message and his skilled lips veered off to the side, running over the skin of her breast as his hand went to the other. She gasped and writhed as Sasuke's lips flew across her skin nimbly. She whimpered and Sasuke loved the sound of it. He reached down with one hand as he kissed her wonderfully flat stomach. She felt his fingers touch the zipper on the back of her skirt. She shifted as he released it. He came back up to her lips, his eye's half-lidded as he removed the skirt. He removed her deep green shorts next and chuckled. Her eyes narrowed on him as he admired her black underwear. He leaned down and kissed her stomach as his eyes came up to look at her own. He ran his lips slowly along the underwear's lining, slipping his tongue beneath it at some points. He then brought his lips to hers as he ran his hands across her hips. Sakura decided it was her turn.

She flipped him over and ran her hands down his chest, pushing herself up onto her knees. She reached down and undid his white pants and Sasuke smirked. His eyes were laughing out "impatient, aren't we?" she blushed. Sasuke helped her remove the white material, revealing his black boxers (with uchiwa fans) and then lay back with one hand on the small of her back, wondering what she'd do next. She kissed him as her hands wandered down to massage his hips. He gave a small grunt and caught her hands. She reprimanded him and he grudgingly released her hands. She continued what she had been doing and nipped down the middle of his chest. Sasuke grunted a couple times or whispered her name when she bit too hard, though it was mostly just to feel her tongue run apologetically over the spot. Finally, when she had exhausted the space on his chest she kissed him as, to his horror, her knee slipped between his legs. He broke away from her lips, "Don't you dare." she smirked evilly. Sasuke's fingernails dug into the black sheets as he felt her knee grind against him, he groaned. She did it once more and he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding and gasped her name. She smirked, "Payback's a bitch." Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he tried to control his shaking frame when she moved that knee. He then smirked evilly. Suddenly he bent up and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her chest and stomach. She ran her fingers through his dark spikes and whimpered.

Sasuke flipped her over before she could start moving that sinful little knee of hers. He held himself up on his hands, knowing his weight would be too much for her. He placed himself on her hips and leaned over her, his spine arching under his skin. They both gasped softly, staring at each other. Their eyes seemed to be holding a private conversation. Asking for permission and giving it. Sasuke slipped his fingers into hers, intertwining them like that first day outside his home. He kissed her gently before pulling his hands from hers and placing them on her hips. He slowly slipped her underwear down her legs and off of her, pushing them off the bed. He took a breath when he saw what lie beneath. She flushed and looked away from him. He turned her face back to him and kissed her. His fingers traveled downwards to just an inch above her spot. She said his name and his hands came away to be placed on his own boxers. He removed them and pushed them off the bed. He sat at her side, looking at her. Her breath had quickened and she stared at him. He spoke carefully, "Sakura…we don't have to do anything. We can just lie together all night. If you don't want to…" he faltered and looked at her questioningly, then, "I don't care Sakura. I just don't want to hurt you." She looked at him, searching his face. She gently leaned forward and kissed him, pulling him closer. Sasuke read the movements and gently moved above her. "It'll hurt." he felt her tense and massaged her hip, whispering gently into her hair to calm her. It was while doing this that he entered her unexpectedly. Sakura gasped and arched her back, pressing herself against Sasuke. He moved further into her and she yelped, but Sasuke knew it would hurt more if he went too slowly, "Please bear with me." he whispered. He pushed into her and felt her barrier. He closed his eyes and broke through it and into Sakura's body. She gave a cry of pain and tears slipped through her eyes. He kissed them away and she wrapped her arms around him.

After a few moments she nodded for him to keep going. He nodded and shifted positions. Then he started moving. He gently pulled out of her and she gasped as he pushed back in. He was slow at first, being careful with her. But after a while she adapted rather well. Soon she was gasping and moving with him. Sasuke felt her tighten around him and knew she was close. He moved quicker and felt Sakura's legs wrap around his hips. Soon Sakura threw her head back and gasped as she released the ball of white-hot metal in her stomach. Sasuke came seconds later. He collapsed on top of her and they lay there gasping for a few moments before Sasuke pulled out of her and lay to her side.

End Lemon that was long, kinda got lazy at the end there

He held her exhausted frame in his arms. He kissed her gently as she regained a bit of her thought processes. Then she laid her head on his chest. "I'm so tired."

"I know. It's normal."

"Are you tired?" He chuckled.

"Yeah. Probably not as much as you, but enough to want to stay here forever. I want to do that anyway, though."

"I love you, Sasuke."

"I love you too. I didn't hurt you too much, did I?"

"A little. Next time it won't hurt at all."

"Next time."

"Sasuke…you know a lot."

"Huh?"

"About what this does to a girl."

"…Well I would, wouldn't I?"

"How experienced are you Sasuke? How many times have you been with a woman-willingly, I mean?"

"…You should sleep."

"Sasuke."

"We can talk about this in the morning. Rest now."

"Uchiha Sasuke." she sat up now. He sighed.

"I don't know. A few."

"More than 2?"

"…"

"More than 5!"

"5...different women…or 5 times?"  
"Times." Sasuke winced.

"…"

"More than 10!"

"I don't know. I …never kept track."

"…fine." she turned to get out of the bed and Sasuke sat up quickly. He placed his hands on her arms and pulled her back against his chest. "Listen to me. I said I've been with a woman over 10 times-but I never said I've done this. You're the only women I love, Sakura. It could never be the same with anyone else." He whispered desperately.

"How many times, Sasuke?" she tried to hold back her tears.

"…20, maybe more…probably more."

"…"

"…I don't want to hurt you."

"Who was she?"

"…we shouldn't talk about this now."

"Answer me!"

"…she was with Orochimaru. She was…a psychiatrist. A med-nin."

"A doctor?"

"You could say that."

"…" Sakura felt tears run down her face.

"Sakura…don't cry." he sighed and came around to sit next to her and brushed away her tears. She pulled away. Sasuke, as was his nature, only made worse by the fear of losing her, went on the defensive.

"You should be glad I had her. If I hadn't…I don't think I'd be here right now."

"What?"

"She…pulled me from the dark. If she hadn't…I would have died."

"Explain this to me." she demanded, pulling up the blanket. After a moment Sasuke reluctantly nodded.

"After what happened I…got depressed. I stopped eating. I started," he glanced at his mutilated wrist; "…It was like being in a dark hole. I didn't feel. I just lay there and stared at the wall. But then…she came in. Some how she broke through that darkness and pulled me back. She…made me cry. After that we were always together. She told Orochimaru it was to make sure I was healthy-and I was. So he let us continue to spend time together. But…things got deeper than just talking. Way deeper. Sometimes it was every night a week. Sometimes not at all. We would sneak into each others rooms. We would go be the hot spring. It didn't matter. If we wanted one another it didn't matter where we were. It would…just happen." Sakura choked and finally she couldn't hold it anymore and sobbed into her hands. Sasuke pulled her against his chest, even when she struggled against him. "But I never loved her. It was never…making love. We wouldn't call it that. It was me and her. It was...sex. That's all. She wouldn't ask me why and I didn't either. She didn't ask about my past and I didn't either. We were outlets. For anything-anger, fright, pain."

"What happened to her?"

"Orochimaru found out. He killed her when she refused to tell him about what went on in my head. That's when I killed him. I killed all of them."

"Did you love her?"

"No. I told you, Sakura." He turned her face up to him. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him. He kissed her and made her look at him. "I love _you_. _You_ are most important. Don't forget that." He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her onto her back. He lay next to her and kissed her, holding her tightly. His fingers gently caressed her body. Soon she was lulled into a restful state once more. She closed her eyes and Sasuke kissed her neck. "I love you." he whispered against the skin. She slipped into sleep gracefully. Sasuke pulled away and looked down at her. She was completely at ease in his arms, trustful as a child in a strange bed. He frowned and pushed the blanket away from her a bit. His hands slipped under the blanket and he moved her legs gently, frowning at her red inner thighs. That was gonna hurt in the morning. But one good thing about being a med-nin. He nuzzled into her chest and ran his hands down her back. Slowly he slipped into a restful sleep. The first he had had in a while.

-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-

Ok. That was long. Sorry for taking so long to update! Bad week. But now I have a long weekend, so that's good. See the problem is the next chapter is hard to write bc I'm bad at arguments (as you can tell from chappies 4&5). SO please review-and tell me how you liked the lemon. I didn't want to do it too graphic bc some people wouldn't like it.


	6. Good morning

Ok so here's the 6th chappie! Thanks for the reviews!

Disclaimer: own nothing.

-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6

"Hn. Sakura don't touch it. That hurts!" The young Uchiha said tiredly as he was woken from his sleep by the pain in his neck. He could feel the mark on his neck being poked and prodded (you thought it was something dirty, didn't you? You sickos XD). He shifted and tried to sit up but he stopped when he felt a hand clamp around his neck. Sasuke's eyes flew open, Sharingan blazing. He glared at the eldest Haruno who returned it fully. "Release me."

"Why should I? You disgusting little brat!" the hand tightened, pulling his fingers away from the mark on Sasuke's neck.

"Daddy! Stop it, let go of Sasuke!" Sakura yelled. Sasuke's grip tightened on the woman who was still against his side.

"What did you do to my daughter!" Taji yelled at Sasuke. (I named Sakura's dad Taji-it's easier)

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"I don't care what you think! How dare you hurt my child!" (I'm horrible at this kind of argument)

"I didn't hurt her!" Sasuke didn't like being accused of hurting the person he loved.

"Dad! Please let go of him!" Sakura said, pulling at her fathers arm. Sasuke's eyes narrowed on Taji. Taji's eyes went to his daughter, seeing her angry flush. He pulled his hand from the boy's throat and Sasuke brought a hand up to rub it. This was the only movement Sasuke made, however. Taji's eyes went over his daughter who, at some point in the night, had put on Sasuke's black muscle shirt, the blanket pulled around her. "Make yourself decent. Then get out to the living room. We're going home." he said angrily. He turned and left the room, his wife met him at the door and he walked out of Sasuke's room. Sakura's mother lingered. "I'm disappointed. I knew your mother Sasuke, and she didn't raise you to act like this."

"She didn't raise me." he spat back. The woman turned and left. She would never know how much that had torn at Sasuke.

Sakura fell back on the bed with a sigh. Sasuke felt her tremble against his hip. He turned and wrapped his arms around her. He spoke softly into her hair as she trembled with her sad sobs. He pulled back and looked at her face. "I woke up when he yelled. I didn't even know he was in here. I was tired." she explained. He nodded, and then winced. He brought his fingers up to grip his left shoulder. "My pants." He grunted. Sakura's eyes widened in realization. She flew around and grabbed the clothing, searching the pockets. She pulled a bottle and Sasuke grabbed it. He couldn't open the childproof cap though and she had to do it for him. He grabbed one of the pills and quickly swallowed it. After a few minutes he gave a small sigh and his body calmed. He breathed deeply for a few minutes, too tired to move. He looked up at the woman above him and gave a weak smile. "You didn't think it'd stop just cause Orochimaru's dead, did you? This mark isn't gone and it won't be. It hurts if it's touched though."

"Did I…?"

"No. He did. I guess he wanted to see the power that did what he couldn't." Sakura glared at him. Sasuke sighed and got up to get dressed. Sadly he forgot the orange bottle was in his girlfriends hands.

He started pulling on a pair of boxers when he realized she still had it. She was reading it already and he knew he'd be too late to get it. He decided he didn't want to lie anymore, not after last night. Her head came up to look at him, angry tears in her eyes. "This is half gone."

He nodded slowly as he grabbed some dark shorts.

"This is what you took last night, isn't it!"

He nodded, still keeping his eyes on the shorts in his hands. He started pulling them on, never looking at her.

"I thought it was the…but no. It was because you took **DRUGS **that you were like that!" she threw the bottle across the room and it clattered to the ground.

Sasuke didn't respond, simply sat on the end of the bed and pulled his Uchiha shirt over his head. The uchiwa fan on the back glaring at Sakura angrily. "Sasuke!" she crawled across the bed and sat next to him. She grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. His dark eyes stared down at her, not a shred of shame. Her eyes widened. She threw herself into his chest and sobbed when she saw that she wasn't getting through to him. He put his arms around her and stood. It was a strange, yet somehow beautiful picture. A full clothed Uchiha having pulled a young Haruno to her feet. Her black shirt and underwear a contrast and a correspondence to his dark blue clothing. She sobbed into his chest, her pink locks sticking out of his pail arms. (Can't you see that pic? Eerily beautiful. A woman, desperate to save a man who can't save himself, but still wanting to love each other…) That was how they were standing when Sakura's mother threw open the door. Sasuke turned his back to her and shielded Sakura's barely-clothed body with his own. "MOM! (Heheh, I put MOP at first) What are you doing! I'm not dressed!"

"Then why is he all over you!"

"He's what!" Taji roared from the living room. Gladly, though, he _stayed_ in there.

"If you'd leave us alone a minute she might have time to get dressed." Sasuke said, annoyed.

"Well when I heard my daughter screaming I was worried!"

"She doesn't need to be protected from me!" he half-turned to glare at the woman.

"Of course she does!"

"Well if she does then you're too late to protect her! Have you forgotten that she was here all night? That she easily slipped out of your house and you didn't even realize until this morning! Be glad she was with me instead of somewhere else. I'm better at taking care of her than _you_!" the sound of flesh on flesh cut the air and Taji was suddenly at the doorway for the sound. Sasuke slowly turned back to look at the woman who had slapped him. She was looking at him furiously. "You have…_no right_…to say that to my parents!" His hands fell from her arms and one came up to be placed on his cheek. It was already turning red. He turned his face towards the wall, refusing to look at her so she wouldn't see the pain in his eyes. It wasn't from the wound.

Sakura gently turned him toward her and healed the mark. "Don't say those things to them." she said more gently. He was still angry but allowed her to rest her forehead against his chin. He loosely put his arms around her. Then she pulled away and hid herself against Sasuke as she yelled "DAD! Get out of here-I'm not dressed!" Sasuke reacted instantly and Sakura found herself wrapped in a blanket. Sasuke glared at the people at the door. Taji left but Saiyuki (named her mum too, it's easier…what? I'm lazy) didn't. She plopped down in a chair by the door. "I'm not leaving you with someone you just slapped." she said. Sasuke tensed angrily. This suspicion was driving him insane. He would never hurt Sakura! (SDJ: um…Sasuke-kun? You already did…multiple times; Sasuke: Shut up! She doesn't know about that! SDJ: Sakura does.) "Mom if Sasuke was gonna hurt me don't you think he would have? Let me answer that: Yes. (SDJ: see?)But Sasuke wouldn't hurt me.(Sasuke: Hah.) You, on the other hand, are pissing him off. He doesn't like being accused."  
"I'm not going anywhere!"

"Fine then. You're gonna have to listen to us."

"I don't care."

"Fine." Sakura looked around then turned to Sasuke with a beautifully innocent smile. She spoke is her sweetest voice. "Sasuke-kun? Do you know where my bra is?"

"Um…" he flushed. " next to the end-table."

"Oh of course! You're so smart, honey." she smiled and happily pranced off to retrieve said item (in her underwear).

"I'll be in the living room." Saiyuki muttered, leaving the room and closing the door. Sasuke chuckled and watched Sakura get dressed with great interest. (Sasuke you perv Sasuke: You wrote the lemon. SDJ: cram it. You did the deed. Sasuke: you made me. Can you take this off? pulls at collar SDJ: No! Muahaha) After, Sakura picked up the discarded orange bottle. "I guess you'll want these back." she said icily. He took them and placed them on the bed side table. "You'll probably take a few of those when I leave right? It was such a stressful morning I guess you couldn't stand not too." she was still angry. "Sakura…I don't…take them all the time. Just when it hurts."

"The question is-what has to hurt for you to take them?"

"I'll probably go downstairs when you leave. But I won't take these. I'll just…go down and vibe for a while."

"…Do you know how much it hurts to here you say that? Sasuke…what else will you do when you're down there? Drink…'train'…slit your wrists!" she buried her face in her hands. She didn't have any more tears to shed. She had used them all up. But she didn't want to look at him. It hurt too much. She wanted to save him so much! Why couldn't he see that! Was he too stubborn? Did he even realize that he was killing himself? Or…did he not care if he died?

"NO! I won't let that happen!" Sakura ran forward and into Sasuke, knocking him back against the wall. She gripped his biceps and looked up at him. If he was in pain then she'd cure it. She'd love him so much that he'd forget his pain. She wouldn't turn her back on him. Love was all he needed. Love would save Sasuke. "It hasn't changed! I love you more than anything Sasuke!" she buried her face in his chest. His arms wrapped around her after a moment of surprise. "Thank you…Sakura."

The couple stayed like that until Sakura's parents pounded on the door. Sakura looked up at him and he kissed her until they threatened to break the door down. He released her and they walked towards the door. Sakura walked out of the room and her mother steered her into the living room. Taji lingered until Sasuke closed his bedroom door. "I see you are interested in curse marks, Haruno-san."

"Only yours, Uchiha."

"You do know it's contained, right? It can't hurt the village or her."

"What about me, Uchiha? What happens next time you get angry at me? Or someone else? What's to keep you from using it?"

"The horrific pain might help the decision. The fact I almost killed my best friend is another reason. The most pungent is the fact that if it took over…I might cause harm to the person I care most about."

"Yourself?"

"Your daughter." Sasuke, again, found it hard to catch a breath as he was thrown against a wall. He glared at the man and noticed angrily that his feet couldn't feel the ground. "Don't say you love her when you've only known her for a few years." Taji growled.

"In case you've forgotten I've saved her life hundreds of times. Why would I want to waste all that effort by harming her?" the boy retorted. He disliked greatly being held against the wall. It was a position he hated. He had been held like this more times then he wanted to be reminded of.

"That attitude of yours really pisses me off."

"Let…go."

"Why should I?"  
"…I wonder. Is it me you hate? My clan? Or the fact that I fell in love with your daughter?" Sasuke's eyes blazed Sharingan.

"Shut up."

"It must annoy you. She's your only child. And she's being taken from you. How frightening. Doesn't that back you into a corner?"

"A child wouldn't understand."

"Or maybe it's because she was taken be someone more powerful than you."  
"Shut up!"

"Someone who could destroy the entire village easily."

"You're asking for it."

"I could do it. I was trained as a shinobi of Konoha. I have power you've never dreamed of."

"You disgusting Uchiha! Your entire family's cursed! You're all killers!"

"You are too. Hunter-nin of Konohagurke."

"Don't compare me to you!" Sasuke was thrown across the hall by a powerful punch. Sakura called his name and hit her knees next to him. Sasuke sat up and spat blood. He wiped his fist across his mouth and gently pushed Sakura away. He stood up and got into a fighting stance. Taji smirked and followed suit.

Sakura tried to get up and go after them but her mother appeared behind her and pulled her into the kitchen. "Let them fight it out, honey. They both need this."

"But Sasuke-"

"They'll be fine."

From the kitchen Sakura heard the fierce sounds of combat from the hall.

They weren't allowed to fight for long. Halfway through the battle the sound of flesh on flesh came as both men's hands were caught in mid-air. Every person in the house stopped and stared at the man standing between the feuding Clan leaders. Hatake Kakahi's angry eyes flew to his former student. "What's going on here!" he demanded. Sasuke pulled his fist away and straightened his shirt, running a fist across his sweating forehead. He shrugged and Kakashi stood to his full height in front of Sasuke. He gripped the front of Sasuke's shirt and jerked him off his feet. "Answer me, Sasuke."

"…He held me against the wall. I hate that. And he hit me first."

"That's not an excuse! You sound like a kid caught doing something wrong when you say that. Which isn't far from the truth!"

"…Gomen…sensei." he murmured. Kakashi released him and ruffled his hair. Then he turned on Taji. "Haruno-san. What's your excuse?"

"I have none Hatake. I will not defend myself for fighting him."

"You mean fighting a minor? A minor on probation?"

"…I was never told about what his probation entailed." Kakashi's eyes went to Sakura and inspected her. Under his scrutiny Sakura felt her face burn and was sure that every fingerprint Sasuke had left on her body was glowing neon green. "I guess not." his sharp eyes stabbed Sasuke, who kept his eyes on the ground. "Nevertheless, that's not an excuse. And look what's happened to the house. What happened here?"

"Why don't you ask that little brat!" Taji snarled.

"**Hey. Scum of an adult over there.**" Sasuke glared.

"Enough! Answer me, someone!" Kakashi interrupted.

"We found our daughter in this brat's bed this morning!" Taji roared.

"I'm not a brat." Sasuke murmured. He silenced with a look from Kakashi. The copy-nin walked up to him. They were almost the same height now and Kakashi stared into Sasuke's black eyes. "Have you forgotten your probation, Uchiha Sasuke?…Answer me."

"No…sir."

"What was your probation?" Sasuke's eyes slipped to Sakura and ran across her body. It made Sakura suspicious as to how he would answer the question. "Sasuke!"

"My probation was that I was not allowed to be an anbu for a year. I have 4 months left."

"And…?"

"…Kakashi…"

"Tell them. All of them." Sasuke's eyes searched Sakura's body once more Then they came up to look into her eyes. He spoke in a voice that held the ring of the Hokage. It was clear he had memorized them and that the words had affected him greatly.

"I was not to have any non-work related association with Haruno Sakura, apprentice of the honorable Hokage, for exactly 6 months. Exceptions: missions, healings, critical situations, and situations in which we were under the eyes of Hatake Kakashi, Copy-nin of Konohagurke and the exceptions set down by him."

"I think this is a clear violation."

"We didn't mean to! It just happened."

"Famous last words, Sasuke."

"Sensei, please! If you tell the Hokage--!"

The silver-haired man looked at the boy in front of him. He was in pain and hid it with anger. He smiled gently and placed a hand on Sasuke's head. He dusted it off. "Who said I was gonna tell the Hokage? I can wait for a couple hours-can't you? Wasn't it 6 months ago today that you were told that? Two hours from now?"

"Thank you…Sensei." Sasuke said with a ghost of a smile. The Hatake smiled.

"Well now that that's done. Haruno-san could I borrow your daughter? Me and the kids have a mission." he said, turning on Taji. Taji nodded dumbly, still shocked. "Wait my daughter was part of your probation!" Kakashi waved and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sasuke grabbed Sakura and held her lips against his own as they disappeared, Sakura giving her parents a peace sign.

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faints Oh god. I redid this like three times. No seriously, three times-don't doubt that I love you guys. I'm dead. I'm gonna go watch anime till my eyes bleed and then drag myself into bed at about 2 a.m. tomorrow morning. Please enjoy the chappie…mumble or I'll shove it down your throats. (is tired _has been writing for 7 hours straight_, hungry _skipped dinner to write_, and all typed out.)


	7. Training

Ok now I have food and am ready to write again! Boo-ya! Ok no I'm not that perky. I'm tired and still hungry and would rather be upstairs in my nice bed and not be down here with my annoying 'parents'. But I love you too much so here's the celebrated 7th chapter of 'Numb'. My precious brain-child!

-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Sasuke and Sakura appeared on the bridge less than a second later and parted as they heard a thud. They turned to see Uzamaki Naruto lying on the floor of the bridge next to them. "Um…Naruto-kun?" Sakura said, poking his leg with her foot. The leg, that had been raised, dropped to the ground limply. Sakura jumped back. "Um…is he dead?"

"Hopefully." Sasuke murmured as his eyebrow twitched, annoyed. His arms fell from Sakura's hips and he walked over to crouch next to Naruto. He grabbed the boys shirt front and, standing, hauled him up. He placed the boy on his feet as he came out of his temporary coma. "Good morning sunshine." Sasuke released Naruto.

" 'Good morning'! You nearly gave me a heart attack! It's bad enough that Kakashi-sensei does that!" he yelled. Sasuke shoved his pinky in his ear and twisted it, looking rather bored. Sakura rolled her eyes and glanced around. "Where's Sai?"

"He's brooding in a tree over there." he jerked a thumb over his shoulder and a call of "I am not Brooding! Naruto!" came from that direction. (along with a chibi Sai sticking out of the canopy of a tree, meheh) They let out a collective sigh. Kakashi showed up next to them with a poof. "All right, now it's time for a super dangerous mission. You'll be split into 2 groups. Sai and Sakura will be on one. Naruto and Sasuke on the other. Now. You must do exactly as I say-especially you Sasuke, Naruto. Your mission is…" the group (and Sai who had just appeared) all leaned forward. Suddenly Kakashi Hatake had a group of scrolls and threw them at the 2 boys wit ha cry of "Overdue Paperwork!" Sasuke and Naruto fell over anime style. "WHAT! THIS IS THE SUPER DANGEROUS MISSIOOOOON!" Naruto yelled as he started signing scrolls franticly. Sakura was falling over laughing and Sasuke was glaring at her with murderous intent. Sai chuckled and said, "All right Kakashi. What's our job?"

"You guys are sparring. I want to see how Sakura does against multiple attack points. In laymen's terms: ink." Sai nodded and shifted his scrolls and they headed up to the hill. Sai playfully pushed Sakura. "Oh you are so dead, hag. You can't touch my ink."

"Oh we'll see Sai. Your ugly drawings better be shaking in their scrolls."

"They are not ugly! They're works of art!"

"Sure. Let's go with what you said and I'll be over here…_laughing._" Sai glared.

Naruto laughed at the correspondence then glanced at Sasuke. The boy was frowning deeply and watching Sakura but he did nothing to interrupt there friendly talking. Naruto wasn't blind. He had actually (I dislike this word _actually_ bad experience) become very observant after playing 'I spy' with Hinata for a few years. To the date he hadn't won except the one time he kissed her and made her pass out before they could finish. Dirty but useful. So when Sasuke and Sakura pulled away a millisecond after they appeared he hadn't missed the kiss. He frowned and took a place under a tree to do his paperwork. Sasuke plopped down next to him. They watched Sai and Sakura stand about 20 yards apart and Kakashi signaled the beginning of the match by waving an arm from his place reading his Icha. Sai immediately disappeared and Sakura tensed. Her seasoned eyes scanning and finding every movement.

"Naruto. What was it like when Sai showed up?"

"What? Why do you care?"

"Just answer me."

"…This is about Sakura isn't it? They're just friends. Just like me and her."

"We both know that's a lie." (yay Slipknot! I listen to Yahoo radio while writing)

"…Kakashi showed up with him on the bridge one day. He said he was our new teammate. Sakura was shocked at first but she smiled and welcomed him. I didn't. I asked Kakashi what Tsunade-baa-chan thought she was doing, sending in a look alike. I was angry because I was sure that she was trying to fill your place and I wanted to keep it open for when we dragged you back to Konoha. I didn't know it'd take 4 years for us to get you back. He got mad and said that you weren't here so we had to have a new teammate to fulfill are missions. I never saw him so mad. But it was only because he missed you too." Sasuke winced but nodded. "I told Sai that he wasn't you and he shouldn't try to take your place. Then I ran off and Kakashi came after me."

"Did he beat you up?"

"No. Just the opposite. He hugged me and told me that no one could take your place, but that we had to be good ninja until we were strong enough to bring you back. I think we were both crying a little. When we got back Sai was crumpled up on the ground and Sakura was yelling something about not being a hag. And making sure he was broken evenly on all sides. After that things got better. But we were still angry. We were mad at Kakashi for training with him and smiling at him when it should have been you. We were angry at Tsunade for trying to put Sai in a Sasuke-shaped mold. We hated her for trying to take your place. We hated her for the pain we saw in Sai when we 'forgot' to invite him for ramen. But more than anything _I_ hated her for causing Sakura so much pain. After she smiled at him and beat Sai up I walked home with her. I had to carry her at one point because she couldn't see through her tears. She couldn't stand to look at him at first. It wasn't just once when I woke up to her face in my window. God, she missed you. She nearly went insane waiting. But during the day she smiled, she trained. But she was always in pain. I could see it. She loved you. She never stopped for an instant. Every time she cried or trained till I had to carry her home on my back she thought of you."

"So she had an obsession too."

"But she didn't betray a single person to reach the objects of her obsession."

"But that's just like-"

"She was so strong. She never broke down in front of anyone. She never tried to hurt herself. She had me. She would come to me when it got to be too much. I think…that may be what she wants from you now." Naruto pushed his jaw-length blond hair from his face. "Sasuke. She's still waiting. She loves you. Why won't you love her too? Why won't you let her help you." Sasuke didn't answer for a minute. Just watched Sakura cut threw another ink creature with ease.

"It would crush her Naruto. Under the pressure…of walking in his shoes." (and again the name comes into play-these are words from numb-see ch.1)

"Then don't Sasuke! Stop chasing after Itachi! You have a life now. Can't you except being happy?"

"No. I'm still haunted by my memories. And until I can deal with them-on my own-I'll have to tell her…a few more lies. I can't hurt her Naruto. I won't. I won't be happy until I can let go of those memories. Until they stop terrorizing me. Then, and only then, I'll be happy." Naruto sighed and watched Sasuke stand. Both boys were done with their overdue paperwork and Sakura was coming towards them, slapping Sai good-naturedly and grinning. As soon as she was close enough she fell into Sasuke's arms. "Haha! I won Sasuke-kun! I caught Sai-kun with a simple substitution jutsu!"

"It wasn't that simple!" Sai said, pushing her farther into the Uchiha's arms. Sasuke held her tightly. "Tired?" he questioned Sakura. She smiled, "I've been worse." she winked and Sasuke smirked and pulled her tighter to his chest. She closed her eyes in the warmth as Sasuke looked around for Kakashi. Sasuke shrugged and frowned at Sakura. "So… I guess you have to get home? Your parent's flip. You want me to go with you?"

"No. And I don't have to go now. As long as you guys agree to stay away from my place so my parents don't see you." she looked to Sai and Naruto who nodded. She grinned up at Sasuke and his eyes searched her face. They lingered on her lips and she was positive she'd melt is he didn't kiss her. Reading her mind he pressed his lips against hers and nibbled her bottom lip. She excepted his tongue into her mouth and Sasuke gripped her tighter.

Sai and Naruto turned around, embarrassed. Sai started walking and Naruto fell into step beside him. When they were across the bridge Sai looked at Naruto expectantly, knowing he had something to say. Naruto caught the look then his eyes went back to their path. "…You're getting to close to Sakura."

"How is that? She's my comrade. Just like you."

"No. It's different. Sasuke doesn't just love her, Sai. He's _in love _with her. He cares for her more than any other living creature. He let's me go near her because he knows I have someone to love and I'd never touch her. I love her but I have someone I'm _in love _with. Hina-chan (Hinata). But the Sasuke you know is different then what he's really like. He may be a jerk, we know that, but he's also possessive. And if you get too close it'll force him into a corner. If their relationship is threatened, Sasuke…he'll just lose control. He'll kill you Sai. He'll destroy anyone who goes near her. So be careful. Don't push him and stay away from her."

"I'd like to see him try." Naruto stopped and grabbed Sai's arm. He looked straight into his eyes.

"No. You don't. He'd walk threw hell fire just to see her smile. He. Will. Kill. You, Sai."

"…" Sai pulled his arm away when they heard a cry behind them. Naruto turned around to see Sakura running away from her boyfriend (who was walking nonchalantly, Uchiha's don't run after their women) . She was laughing. "Eek. He said he'll kiss me till I suffocate!" she laughed, throwing herself into Naruto's arms. He swung her around like a child. Naruto grinned and yelled something to Sasuke. Sai tried, but he couldn't smile. They were a great team.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Sakura's hips from behind and pulled her against him, kissing her cheek. She laughed and placed her hands on his arms, leaning forward away from his lips. Naruto saw Sai retreat from the corner of his eye and frowned. He didn't want to cause the boy pain. Annoying Hinata and her morals. He ran up to the boy and put an arm around his neck. "Hey, want to go get some ramen!" he said hyperactively. Sai nodded dumbly and Naruto half-turned and yelled the same back to the couple behind who agreed to go too.

-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (hello 4th page)

"So…you told her."

"I had to. It's a violation of his probation."

"So you decided to ruin him because he slept with your daughter."

"Don't be so crude, Hatake. It is my duty to report it."

"…You're jealous of a child."

"I am not _jealous_. That kid needs to be punished for stepping outside his probation. He needs to take responsibility. It's part of growing up." the man said as he leaned back in his kitchen chair.

"Well now you have to explain to your daughter how you incarcerated her boyfriend."

"She'll get over it."

"No. No she won't. This time she may…_break. _She may come to hate…even you Taji."

"She's my daughter. I won't have her fall for someone like him."

"She already has."

"She's a child. She can't be expected to make this kind of decision."

"…Yes I understand. She's young."

"Exactly."

"Young enough to kill. To watch people die. Young enough to smile everyday. Even though her job is to end life, she's young enough to want to continue her own."

"When did you become a philosopher Kakashi. It's only to protect my child. You, at least, understand that don't you?"

"Yes. That I understand."

"Good."

"So now you'll understand when I say…that I won't help you. I won't allow you to hurt Sasuke. Or Naruto for that matter. You say it's to protect your child. Well I've raised those boys more than their own parents. _They_ are _my_ children. Don't go near my sons Haruno." Hatake Kakashi stood and walked out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Haruno in the kitchen all alone.

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It's short but I'm hungry!


	8. Control

Ok so here's the 8th chappie of my fic 'numb' (but you knew that) Thanks for the reviews!!! So right now I'm writing, talking to aniki, and listening to a CD with Linkin Park on it!! Yay!

I know the dialogue of the last chappie was weak!! I told you guys I sucked at it. And yes it's OOC but you must remember that they've all grown (though it is way too much OOC for a sadistic fic like this, but then again you guys may just be killjoy psycho's lol j/k). They aren't the naïve children they once were. And Naruto's been with Hinata, a very mature girl (I tried to insinuate that when I talked about his new vigilance). I'm trying to be mature about it!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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Hatake Kakashi walked nonchalantly down the side of the street after he left the Haruno's. He put his hands together and poofed away. He found himself in a forest and, smiling happily, proceeded to tear it down with his powerful chidori.

After releasing a bit of anger on the poor unsuspecting trees he ran through the town (after poofing back to it) at top speed. He had already checked Sasuke's house. He needed to find him. Before the ANBU did.

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Sasuke chuckled as Naruto recounted a story of Jiraiya latest attempt at finding a girl-friend. He had Sakura in hysterics and she was crying against his side. Thank god for Sasuke's instincts or she might have been with him in the next predicament he found himself in. Thankfully he pushed her away when he heard the too-quick rushes of wind around him. S

Sasuke took another sip of ramen and glanced at the blades a hair's width from his throat. He glanced back (since moving his head would probably result in decapitation) and zeroed in on the anbu squad behind him. He noted that one looked to be Neji. "Uchiha Sasuke. You are invited to a conference with the Honorable Tsunade on the subject of probation violation."

"You don't look to inviting with those weapons. But I guess it'd be pretty stupid to refuse, ne?"

Their was no answer Sasuke sighed and put down his chopsticks and glanced at his friends before he stood (with an entourage of metal) and they all disappeared to the untrained eye, moving too fast to see. Sakura gave a cry, coming back to reality. She got up to run but she felt strong arms wrap around her body. "Let go, Let go! They'll kill him!! They'll kill him!!"

"Shh, I know. But rushing in blindly won't help him now, Sakura."

"But Tsunade will listen to me! I know she will if I tell her-"

"Tell her what Sakura? You'll have to let me do it. I won't let her hurt Sasuke. Naruto. Take care of her." Naruto nodded at his Kakashi-sensei and pulled the woman into his arms. "Please help him, Kakashi!!" she yelled as her sensei disappeared into the evening twilight. Her grip on Naruto tightened.

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Sasuke eyed the room he was thrown into. All wood, seals around the outside walls to keep prisoners in. Yup. Tsunade's doing. He wondered vaguely who told what and decided it must have been a Haruno. It didn't really matter, either way his punishment was his punishment. He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. He closed his eyes and tried to guess what would be done to him. There were a lot of gruesome prospects. But they all came down to what Tsunade wanted.

Control. That's what Tsunade needed. That's why Sakura had been part of his probation. She wanted to control him and the easiest way to control someone was to control what they wanted. Orochimaru had taught him that. The thing that Sasuke wanted more than anything, sadly, was Sakura. He wanted her more than anything.

Sasuke sighed. He got up and stretched. Then he threw his body forward, spinning on the palms of his hands. He did a few flips, getting limbered up. They would either kill him or make him do something-something they didn't think he'd survive. He had chosen life when he left Orochimaru. Had found it again when he was with Sakura. He wasn't ready to give it up.

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Kakashi watched the woman across the room from him. He sighed. "Tsunade. I know you're stuck. But there must be another way. We can't kill him. Sasuke's the last Uchiha. Do you really want to take the power of the Sharingan from Konoha? That's like killing the Hyuuga clan. We can't give up that kind of power."

"Don't you think I know that?!" she said nastily. This was way to stressful. "I didn't think he'd have so much trouble with such a simple order!"

"It's not easy for him Tsunade. He didn't come back for honor. Or his team. Or Konoha. He came back for the people he cares for, and in the forefront, Sakura."

"This isn't easy Kakashi! The entire village has been screaming for his execution all year! We can't sacrifice the power, but the village will riot if we take this lightly! No matter how trivial, he went outside of his boundaries. So I'm stuck." she sighed and Kakashi leaned forward.

"What if he proves his loyalty? If he fights for Konoha once more?"

"Even that wouldn't work. It's too simple. He's a shinobi-a damn good one. Killing is second nature to him."

"But what if the person he needs to kill is part of his biggest fear?"

"…You may have something there Kakashi. But he won't tell us what his greatest fear is."

"Then we'll just find someone who does."

"Shizune! Bring me Haruno Sakura."

"Yes ma'am!" came the reply from the other room.

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Uzamaki Naruto sighed from his place against the wall of a building. He sighed. He didn't even know why he was here. "Sakura-chan we can't help him by standing outside the Hokage's place. This is stupid."

"Shut up Naruto! Don't you think I know that? But…maybe it'll help if I'm here. Maybe…oh I don't know. But we're not leaving." she replied stubbornly. She continued to stare at the building.

They all jumped when they heard a pop and suddenly Sakura was tight in Naruto's arms. "What do you want?!" Naruto yelled, holding Sakura protectively.

"Shut up Naruto. It's just Shizune." Sai muttered.

"Tsunade-sama needs to see you Sakura-chan." said woman announced softly as Sai helped her to stand (she had landed in a crouch). Sakura stepped out of Naruto's arms boldly and nodded. She turned and smiled at her 2 teammates. "I'll bring our boy back, guys. I swear." _'Or I won't come back either.' _she added in her head. She gave a peace sign and Shizune gave Sai a small bow for helping her, then they both disappeared.

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Sasuke's head raised as the door to his 'room' opened. He stood and cracked his knuckles, whatever they were gonna do to him, he was going to face head-on. He walked out of the room and was escorted to the Hokage's room by 4 ANBU. He had a feeling there were even more of them hiding around him but ignored them. He had no intention or trying to escape.

When they reached the door he grabbed the arm of the man next to him before it reached the door to knock. He could feel a ripple of movement around him. "Neji. If I don't come back…I want you to tell Naruto…to protect her. All of you. She…deserves it." The falcon mask looked at him for a moment. Then it nodded and Sasuke released his comrade's arm. Neji knocked on the door and opened it on Tsunade's orders. They lead him in.

Sasuke didn't sit and wasn't invited to. He stood in the middle of the room and looked at the woman before him. She had her fingers in a steeple resting against her lips. Finally she spoke. "Do you understand the charges against you Sas--Uchiha-san?"

"Yes."

"What do you plead?"

"Guilty."

Tsunade nodded. She expected nothing less than this answer from an Uchiha. "You understand that you have to be punished."

"…Yes."

"It took a long time to think of something appropriate for a shinobi like you. Like you said, you could destroy this village easily." Tsunade shifted some papers and Sasuke decided that must have been in Haruno-san's testimony. "But despite that I've decided to give you one last chance. You are being sent on a mission. Alone. You will be given a pack and weapons as necessary. Do you accept?"

"Yes."

"Good. You are to kill an assassin heading for Konoha right now. Obtain a green package that the assassin should be carrying on her person. Don't look inside it and bring it to me. Do that and we will forget this trespassing."

"Yes Hokage." Sasuke decided he would wash his mouth out with soap when he got back. He turned to leave but stopped and glanced back. "Tsunade." she looked u pat the familiar tone and he could see a flash of regret. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and said "It was a good decision."

Tsunade gave a small smile. "Maybe. I wonder though. Do you think the 3rd would've done it?"

"No. But he has more emotional attachments than you. You are you. He is he. It was a good decision…for you."

She smiled "Oh that makes me feel better." she said sarcastically. He nodded and was gone from the room. She sighed_. I guess he's right. After all, the 3rd watched him grow up. I guess I'll have to spend a little more time as an outsider. But then again, so will he. _

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Sasuke fixed the pack on his back and glanced behind him. There was a semi-circle of ANBU around him. He could see Konoha beyond them. He never realized how beautiful it was when he was there. It had always been cold to him, sad. Holding his past, a place to be hated.

He turned and, for the second time, walked out of Konoha.

A map and coordinates in the pack on his back. Weapons dotting his figure. But this time he wasn't betraying anyone, just trying to live.

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"Are you sure about this Tsunade-sama?" The worried girl asked, placing her tea on her desk.

"I'm not sure about anything, Shizune. I…want him to live. I just hope…that this doesn't kill him."

"But even worse could happen, right? People have_ broken _under this test. And Sasuke-san…he's so fragile. I'm afraid for him."

"I know. sigh But all I can do is hope he can face it." She turned and looked at the body beside her on the cot. Peaceful and, to the untrained eye, sleeping. But she knew different. The black-haired, pale-skinned boy was heading straight for his worst fear. If he died in his mind, in the landscape she created, the body containing it would die too. The heart, full of love for her beloved apprentice, would stop beating. And it would be her fault.

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Sasuke moved swiftly and silently. Right ahead. He could see the chakra signal about 30 meters ahead. It had taken 2 days but he was there. He was near the ocean and _it_ (for he had been taught not to think of his opponent as human) was near the coast, on a cliff. He noticed the figure stop and sand still and knew it was aware of his presence. He dropped to a place behind the figure and his eyes searched it. He felt his heart beat faster and his throat closed. He couldn't breath and he was afraid.

"Welcome little one. I didn't think I'd see you. I thought you were killed in that massacre. OH! It must have been you then. So **you** killed them. Were you mad? Because I killed your girlfriend?" the woman in front of him turned around. Mid-back length hair tied up in a messy bun, two senbon stuck through it like chopsticks. A white dress like he had never seen the likes of anywhere but on her. Or the floor of his old room. It was a long tunic with slits riding way up to her upper thighs for mobility. No sleeves. Dark blue eyes that were emotionless accept for the killer that shone through. He felt a shiver run down his spine but that was the only movement he made.

She turned and walked toward him He felt terror rise in his body, but his feet wouldn't move. He couldn't run. She had pinned him with a look. He fell backwards and tried to crawl away. His eyes were wide with fright but the only thing he saw was her. She was coming towards him slowly, knowing how it affected him And knowing he couldn't run.

She dropped to a knee next to him. And he stared. She pulled a green package from the pack around her hips. "This is what you want, ne? Oh little one. You're still such a child. Maybe I should revisit that lesson we had so long ago? Maybe…" she reached out and touched his lower stomach, "I should reopen the wounds? Just like I did with her."

Sasuke could only stare. He was so afraid. Wasn't there someone to help him? His brother? Naruto? Kakashi? Sakura? No. He was alone again. There was no one to help him No one to save him because he was all alone. Again. He hadn't betrayed them this time. They had betrayed him. Those who had promised to protect him had lied. The woman who held him sate into the night, who had told him she loved him, was back in Konoha and she had betrayed him. The young blonde who had held him so tightly when he walked through the gates of Konoha had betrayed him.

But he had done it to them first. How could he ask them to help him when he had hurt them so much? Wouldn't that be selfish?

She was moving closer and he could only pull away. She was going to kiss him. Then kill him. He closed his eyes. Yes it would be selfish. This time he was alone but he wasn't helpless. A flash of memory hit him.

_She was so strong. _

That's right. Sakura had been strong. It was his turn. Last time he was saved by that woman. The doctor he had never loved. Senya. This time he had to save himself.

Sasuke's eye's flew open as the woman touched his cheek to hold his face still. He slapped her hand away and his fist came up to try and hit her. She jumped back to evade him and Sasuke stood. "Are you being stern, little one?"

"Don't…call me that. This time I'm going to kill you. You'll pay for her life with your own!"

With that Sasuke flew forward with a kunai in one hand. She was an assassin. Her hand-to-hand was weak. He ran forward and she ran away. Evading him. But Sasuke's eyes stayed on her and he followed her everywhere. They were next to the cliff when he caught up with her. He threw the kunai to her right, forcing her left with the explosive note on it. She fell into a kick to her hip. Sasuke didn't give her time to get away. He hit her with an explosive taijutsu combo and sent her flying into a tree. He grabbed the front of her dress and pulled her into his fist. She cart wheeled away but he was right on her heels with a quick flip. She was lithe as a cat, though, and was on her feet before him. Just long enough to send a kick into his gut that sent him back against the cliff. This allowed her to get some distance and Sasuke cursed the fact. He could see her with his Sharingan but she obviously knew of the Kekkai Genkai because she kept moving. She sent multiple weapons at him, none hitting their target and few hitting him. He was having trouble breathing but that was from fright not the wounds. _It's not like I've suddenly become stronger. I'm still shaking. But I don't have to let that fear stop me. _Sasuke grabbed a kunai from the air and stopped the rest in mid-air.

Finally he decided time was time to flush her out. He put his hands together and took a deep breath. In a few moments he felt the familiar heat running up his throat. His mouth flew open and fire poured from his mouth, searing the trees in front of him. He heard her shriek and she leapt from the trees to the ground. She sat up and felt the sharp point of a kunai against her throat. "Goodbye." and she was gone with a small movement of the kunai. He pulled the green package from the pouch around her hips. He sighed and looked at her.

He stood and turned away. He walked towards the woods that he had come from. Then he heard a sound more welcome than any he had ever heard before. "Sasuke-kun!!" He looked up and watched a pink-haired kunoichi run towards him. He opened his arms, too shocked to speak. She threw herself into the arms and held his face in her hands. "Are you all right? Are you ok? Oh Sasuke, I'm so sorry! I never meant to! I didn't know how that information would be used!! It's all my fault!!"

"Sakura!! What are you talking about? What are you doing here? This isn't safe! I have to bring this to Tsunade!" he held up the package. She scoffed and grabbed the package. She then turned and threw it with all her might. "Sakura, Jesus! What are you doing!!"

"Oh, Sasuke." She held him in her arms. "It's time to wake up. Please. Come home with me. Just let it happen." he closed his eyes and when they opened again he was staring up at the same pink-haired kunoichi. She had tears in her eyes and she was smiling softly down at him.

"Sak…" He quickly sat up and his eyes flew around the room. "Where am I? Did I pass out? What's going on?" His fright turned to anger with the last sentence.

"Shhh. It's ok, Sasuke. It's ok. We're in the Hokage's office. It's all right, you're all right." Sakura cooed, holding him close. But he didn't return the hug. His eye's flew around the room, not believing her.

Tsunade appeared at his side. "Sasuke you must calm down. I trapped you in a genjutsu. It was your job to face you worst fear for Konoha. You did well."

"See? It was just a illusion. Now you'll be ok. Right Tsunade?"

"Yes. You'll be fine as soon as you calm down. You mustn't dwell on it. If you do, you could lose yourself in the illusion." Sakura looked at him worriedly. He forced himself to calm down. He fell backwards against the cot he was on and closed his eyes, letting the Sharingan bleed out of them. He took deep breaths and was able to get out "I…want to go home." Sakura nodded and, before Tsunade could do anything, they both disappeared.

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Ok that's the end. Yay 3-day weekends! That's…7 and ½ hours. Yup one chappie in 7 ½ hours. Yes I am god. Praise me at will. XD Sorry for the crappy last chapter. One day I'm probably gonna redo that just because it annoys me. Yup. Looking forward to it. Not. God parents are annoying. Ooo, there's gonna be a chappie coming up with the song Cold be Crossfade. It's perfect for the chappie (which I've finished in my head). Well please review! Love ya! Ja ne.


	9. Give into the pain

Yay! Here's the celebrated 9th chapter of 'Numb'! You know what? 35 alerts. And like 12 people review. There's something wrong with that. But that means that I appreciate those who review even more! **_You guys are so nice! I love you! _**To everyone else: Shame Shame.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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When Sasuke's eyes opened he was staring up at the ceiling to his bedroom and laying on his bed. He closed his eye's. His body was numb and his limbs felt like lead, his head hurt. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He put his head back and his chest heaved. He didn't like this feeling. It was just like _his_ eye's. "What…did she **_do_** to me?"

"It's a forbidden jutsu. It's powerful. It took a lot out of her…but probably even more out of you."

"Yeah…I'm having trouble moving."

"Yeah. You were just brought into your own mind, Sasuke. It'll be a couple minutes till your able to move. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." he noticed that his clothes were clinging to his body and that he had broken out into a cold sweat. "I could really use a shower, though."

"Oh, yeah. Are you strong enough?" she brushed his hair from his face and noticed the rise in his temperature. She frowned at him, but he responded with a cock of his head and a smirk.

"What? You want to come with?"

"Uchiha Sasuke-you're a perv!" Sakura yelled, turning red. He chuckled, "Then you better get home. I'll take a shower and get some food. I'll be fine." he frowned. "I'm more worried about you. Your dad's no joke."

"Yeah."

"Sakura…" he stopped.

"What is it?"

"…nothing. Forget it." he murmured. She didn't have to know it was her father who tried to kill him.

"Ok." he noticed the waver in her voice and said her name. She put her hands in her face and sobbed. "It's all my fault, Sasuke! I told her what your worst fear was! It's all my fault that that happened!" Sasuke winced as he tried to sit up. After a second he succeeded. He shook his head. "No, no. It's all right. Either way she would have gotten the information. And if she pried into my mind it would hurt. Not to mention she'd find out everything." Sakura's face lifted a bit but she was still sad. Probably from the thought of what that 'everything' was. "And anyway, you lied."

"What?"

"You didn't tell her my worst fear. Because my worst fear…" he lifted her head and looked at her. "will always be…losing you." Tears found their way to her surprised face. He kissed them away, then kissed her and she kissed him back. _That's right…my weakness will always be…Sakura. _

After a few moments they pulled away and Sakura had to leave. He said goodbye and sat on the edge of his bed, placing his head in his hands. Sasuke sighed and rubbed his face. He still didn't feel well, but had enough strength to stand. Stumbling into his bathroom, he shoved his head under the faucet. He washed his hair quickly and then stripped to his boxers. He put on a pair of his baggy black sweatpants and stumbled to his bed. He collapsed on his bed and breathed even deeper. He tried to control his gasping as he felt the familiar tingle in his neck.

_Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you,  
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win  
You are the antidote that gets me by,  
Something strong like a drug that gets me high  
_He prepared himself for what he knew would come. It was a game. Would he need to take something? How long could he hold out?

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold_

He could feel the pain growing slowly. The skin started burning and he could almost hear the skin sizzle. He grunted and his head buried into his pillow. He gripped his sheets. _What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so_

The mark hurt. It was boring into his muscle now and his back arched upwards. He shakily brought a hand up to place it on his left shoulder, but he didn't touch the mark, not yet. He grit his teeth and grunted through them.

_Cold to you,  
I'm sorry about all the lies,  
Maybe in a different light,  
You can see me stand on my own again  
Cause now I can see  
You are the antidote that got me by,  
Something strong like a drug that got me high_

'_ARGH! It hurts so much. But I swore to protect her. I won't tell her. I guess I'm still a liar. I can't tell her the truth of what happens to me with this mark, though. It would only hurt her. I'll be a liar…until I'm strong enough to keep this mark from doing this.' _

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am_

_I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold_

_I never meant to be so cold_

Sasuke was on his knees now and threw his head back and let out a cry of pain. This was shy he made her leave. He didn't want her to see him like this. He was strong enough to keep the mark from taking him over but not strong enough to make the pain stop. It's so stupid. He couldn't even control his own body! He was still so weak. Not even able to control this. Why did Orochimaru choose him? He wasn't strong enough for this! He just wasn't strong enough!

_I never really wanted you see  
The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep, it always seems to get to me  
I never really wanted you to go,  
So many things you should have known  
I guess for me there's just no hope  
I never meant to be so cold  
'I'm so sorry Sakura. I'm too weak. I'm in so much pain! I can't stand it!' _Sasuke gripped the mark hard and felt the warm trickle of blood through his finger tips. He screamed with the pain. And looked around. His eyes went to his night table.

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold_

'_I'm so weak that I can't stand this without…without…' _his fingers grabbed open the drawer and he searched inside of it, finding what he wanted. He grabbed the plastic bag and pried it open shakily, his secret stash. He grabbed the pills inside and swallowed them, not caring how many he took. He felt the pain coming down…along with the feeling in his limbs. He shakily stood up. He collapsed on all fours and felt a familiar burning in his throat. He released the ramen he had eaten earlier.

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold_

'_I…I never meant to do this. It's not my fault! I…am I dying? Is this what it feels like?' _He collapsed on his side and felt himself going numb. He was losing all feeling in his limbs and it was traveling into his torso. His vision was fading, everything was going black. He couldn't die yet! Sakura! He needed to be with her! But…did he deserve her? He was so weak, not able to control his body. He didn't deserve her. He knew that. _'I'm sorry Sakura. But I don't deserve you. It hurts to know that. More than anything, it hurts. I'm sorry. And if living without you will hurt this much…I'm so sorry…but I'm going to give it up. If it's between grief and emptiness, I chose emptiness. I'm sorry. I never…'_

He closed his eyes and surrendered to the incoming darkness.

_I never meant to be so cold_

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It's short but I have to eat! Like most of you know I skipped dinner to finish this chapter-again! Be grateful. Lol. Ja ne and please review!


	10. short I know!

Ok this is short but right now I'm in class. Ok, I'm having comp. problems so I may not be able to update bc I can't get to my files!! But that means I'll just have to rewrite the chappie and post it bc I can't keep you waiting much longer!! It's so cruel of me D!!!!

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Naruto put his head back and sighed. It was too much. He couldn't keep his mind from the situation at hand, no matter how much he tried. He tried not to think of carrying his best friend to the hospital with his other best (female) friend next to him with her hands on the dark-haired boys chest, desperately working to keep his heart beating. He tried not to think of the same boy lying helpless beyond the doors of the emergency room. He tried not to think of the guilt that was creeping in on his mind. He had been stupid. He had thought the young prodigy would be strong enough-strong enough to realize what was happening, to realize that he needed help.

But he hadn't.

And now he was…he was dying. And Naruto had just watched him destroy himself with his memories of his brother, not just that but had _helped_ him. He hadn't told anyone. He had done everything he was taught not to do when a friend was in trouble-and then some. The guilt was in the back of his mind-whispering in his restless mind, squeezing at his heart. The woman sobbing against his girlfriend's side was proof of his guilt. He leaned forward and placed his face in his hands. He was aware of Sai next to him and Hinata against his hip, with Sakura against her own. He was aware of the smell of blood and the beep of machines around him (times like this he cursed his shinobi senses) things he wouldn't have cared for or noticed before were screaming in his head and driving him crazy.

Naruto growled and stood up to pace in front of them, his fist clenching and unclenching. He felt a tug on his pants and glanced at his girlfriend. She pointed to the doorway and Naruto turned to see a figure-anger radiating from him-coming towards them. He stood up in front of the angry Kakashi (for he was obviously angrier than he had been in a **_long_** time) and looked to the ground.

"Look at me." The boys teacher demanded quietly. He did.

"Kakashi." That was the only word he was able to say before a fist was thrown across his jaw. Naruto hit the ground and Hinata tried to go to him but Sakura held her back. "Don't." Naruto pushed his body off the ground, then stood in front of his sensei. There was a large red spot on his cheek and a trail of blood down the corner of his mouth but he made no move to wipe it away. He was sent flying with the next hit and ran into the desk.

A few men ran over to restrain the angry jonin who struggled and yelled at his student. "Are you stupid?!! What's wrong with you?! You knew about this all along didn't you, Naruto?! And you didn't do a damn thing to help?!!!" Naruto stood back up and this time wiped away the blood coming from the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry…Kakashi-sensei." The boy murmured. Kakashi watched his student for a moment then stopped struggling and let his form relax. He was released and promised to not cause any more commotion. He walked over to stand next to Sai and pulled out his book. To him the writing looked greek.

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yes short but better than nothing, ne? Alright gotta hurry, I have Global history next.


	11. CCU

Sorry the last one was short TT. My god stepfathers are stupid. Ritchie (my stepfather) changed the account on my comp from administrator to limited and made another account administrator. Problem: He doesn't know the password to the admin. account. …

SEE?!!! I TOLD YOU HE WAS A MORON!!!! HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET!!!! ARG!!!!! So now bc this account isn't administrator I cannot get to my files-including the finished update to "Jessica" and the half-finished update to 'Numb'. Can you believe that? I can't get to any of my files! That sux!! All right so the last chappie was short bc I wrote it in my Career Finance Management class (40 mins.) and had to post it. I was hauling to get it up. But now I'm rewriting this troublesome chappie bc it doesn't look like I'm getting to my file for a while. ToT

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Naruto sat down next to Hinata once again. He didn't speak and neither did anyone else. A little more time would pass before a young nurse walked up to the group. "Are you all here for Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Yes." Sakura said quickly, "Have you seen him? Is he all right? What's going on?!"

"Right now he's being brought to the CCU. If you would follow me." They all stood and, grabbing discarded jackets followed the nurse. She led them to an elevator and they all stepped in, watching her push the button for the 7th floor. When the doors opened into the waiting room the stifling silence pressed in on them. Sure they had made a mistake Sakura stepped back, but a guiding hand gently led her into the room. She looked around at the few people who were in the room; they all looked sad and disheveled. She wondered if she did too. They all took a place in the middle of the room. Sai in a chair, Hinata, Naruto, and Sakura on the couch and Kakashi leaning against the wall with his favorite orange book out. The nurse turned to leave but Sakura's hand flew out to grab the young woman's arm. "Aren't you going to answer me?! What's wrong with him? Why can't we see him?!"

"Ma'am he's not in any condition to have visitors. He's still very weak. The first 24-hours are critical. If he survives tonight…then there's a chance he will survive. However, until then you'll have to wait. I'm sorry." the nurse pulled her arm from Sakura's weakened grasp and walked away. Sakura closed her eye's and buried her face in her hands, she turned back into Hinata's arms and whispered "Survive…he might survive…" repeatedly. But they weren't happy tears she was crying. It was the way the nurse had said it "There's a CHANCE he will survive". Those chances were less than 50/50 now. As a med-nin she knew that better than anyone. She gave a small sob and felt Hinata's arms wrap around her trembling form. She was glad that the shoulder of Hinata's dress was soft because she was burying her face into it, but it still wasn't as soft as the cloth that Sasuke wore.

Hatake Kakashi sighed as he gently picked up Sai's tired body and laid it on a couch. The group was asleep now, except him. He laid Naruto back and placed Hinata on his chest. The actions disturbed Sakura but she calmed when Kakashi told her it was just him. She was asleep again in an instant, as Kakashi knew she would be. She always calmed when he said that-as he had noticed from there many missions. He gently scooped Sakura up and laid her on another couch, laying her head in his lap. He sighed and stroked her pink locks. This really was troublesome. He had been through terrible things, the death of his family and best friend, the loss of part of his team. However, this was different. He had never been this desperate for answers before. He was usually pulling the strings from the background, silently fitting everything into his little puzzle. He wasn't ready for this emotion of loss and suffering. He was going crazy with it. He had hit Naruto because of it. How was that fair? He rubbed his eyes. How was it rational that he was being put through all of this because of a young Uchiha?

It wasn't rational. That was the simple answer (though nothing seemed simple these days). Caring about someone wasn't based on rationality. That was one of many lessons that his students had taught him. He looked down at the young kunoichi and pushed her hair from her face. The thing he knew more than anything, though, was that the pain he was feeling now was nothing compared to hers.

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Sun streamed into the hospital threw the large window and woke a young blonde shinobi. He placed a hand on the weight on his chest, knowing it was Hinata. He had gotten used to the feeling. He gently removed Hinata from his chest and slipped off the couch. He walked to the window and looked out over the village. How was it that the sun shone so brightly and children played so happily when his best friend was in this kind of situation? Didn't they know? Didn't they care?

He turned from the window to save himself from the thoughts and moved to Sakura. He noticed a tear lying undisturbed on her pale cheek. He reached down ant picked it up on the crook of his index finger. He closed his eyes and, turning his hand, let it fall from his finger. He reached down and gently shook Sakura awake. She stared blearily up at him and was lost in the space between being awake and asleep for a moment before reality came crashing in on her. When it did, her eyes widened and she sat up, her eyes searching the room for a few moments franticly. Then her head dipped and she pulled her feet off the couch. "Let's get something to eat Sakura. We can try to find someone who knows what's going on later." The woman shook her head, "I'll stay." she said weakly. "You go get some food with the others. I'll…just stay right here."

"Sakura…alright." He moved away to wake Hinata and Sai while Sakura went to touch Kakashi's shoulder but he opened his eyes and murmured, "I'm awake." He stood and they said there goodbyes to Sakura. She walked them to the elevator but grabbed the door just before it closed. "Why don't…you guys go home. Hinata-chan your father will worry and Neji-san."

"No we don't want to! We'll come back!" Naruto said quickly, afraid of leaving her along. After all, he had listened to Sasuke when he had said to go home and this was what happened.

"No. Just go home. I want to stay here…alone."

She let the door close then and she disappeared from view. Naruto threw himself against the closed door desperately. Hinata finally broke down and collapsed to the floor, sobbing. Sai grabbed Naruto's collar and pointed to Hinata, the boy instantly dropped to cling to her. Kakashi put a hand to his eyes and silently prayed, _Please be safe. Please don't forget… how to smile. _

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Sakura collapsed on the couch and let her knees shake. She looked up whenever someone came in the room. She didn't cry and was sure she had lost the last of her tears. She sat there just like that for a long time. She looked up when she saw the elevator doors open and was surprised to see her mother come out. Without speaking her mother ran to her and pulled her to her feet, then into her arms. She held her for a long time, then turned and, without giving Sakura a chance to protest, pulled her to the elevator. Sakura struggled all the way down to the car but her mother didn't let up. She pushed her daughter into the car and got into the other side. She reached across her daughter and pulled her door closed, preventing Sakura from jumping out. She grabbed her daughter's head and drew it into her chest. Sakura struggled but soon gave into the warmth and allowed herself to sob into her mother's chest. Her mother held her the whole time she drove home and gently helped her from the car. She led her daughter inside the house and Sakura plopped down at the kitchen table and rested her head on her folded arms. "Your father's at the Hokage's." her mother answered an unasked question. She sat down in a chair next to her and placed a hand on her head. "Sakura-chan? You should go get some sleep. Do you want to get some food…Sakura-chan?" The girl finally spoke "I…just want to go get some sleep." Saiyuki nodded and watched her daughter walk upstairs.

Sakura closed the door behind her and leaned against it when she reached her room. She sat on her bed and looked around. She got up and went to her stereo. She pushed the 'on' button, expecting to hear "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley, but instead a high sound came from her speakers. It was Numb.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless_

_Lost under the surface_

She quickly hit the stop button and ripped the cd from the player. She had bought it a while ago and listened to it, trying to read what had been going on in Sasuke's head when he listened to it.

Sakura turned angrily and flung the cd to the wall, where it promptly shattered. Death music. Suicide music. Hate and pain music. That's what it was and she never wanted to hear it again. Not satisfied she ran to her bedside table and pulled out a blue headband with a scratch across the leaf, I promise Naruto had made and this was the proof. She turned and threw it against the wall as hard as she could. The old team seven picture followed. Her own worn copy of "The most Foolish Traveler in the World" hit in a flurry of pages. Everything that reminded her of Sasuke hit the wall. Never did she want to look at that again. She refused to listen to Linkin Park-Sasuke's favorite band. She hated that stuff. It had taken Sasuke from her. Had caught him in its dark clutches of pain and hate. She despised the stuff that hit the wall. Despised him because he hadn't been strong enough too get up off his knees. Had let himself be dragged down. She screamed out her anger. Her door opened and her mother took one glance around and crossed the room, taking Sakura in her arms. "It's alright. Let it out, Sakura-chan, just let it out. Get rid of it."

"I hate him!! I hate him. How could he do this to me?!" Words tumbled out, doubts, fears, things she'd wanted to tell her before. Everything came out before she could stop it. The things he had done to himself, the things he had done to her. It was sobbed into her mother's chest. Saiyuki let her cry, let her speak, listened to every word and comforted her. Clinging to her Sakura cried herself dry until she was trembling, weak, and very empty of everything.

Saiyuki led her down stairs and wiped her face with a wet washcloth, she stroked her hair, and she led her to the table and made her daughter sit down. Sakura, too tired to move, watched her open up some chicken soup and put it in a bowl, shoving it in the microwave. Sakura buried her face in her folded once again "What's wrong with me?" she whispered softly. "Am I going crazy?"

Saiyuki placed a bowl in front of Sakura and spoke as she took a seat next to her. "You're exhausted Saku-chan. You haven't eaten. You've been in the hospital all night."

"Do you think he did it on purpose? Did he try to kill himself?"

"…Only Sasuke could answer that, Saku-chan." she replied slowly.

"What if he doesn't wake up? What if he dies?" Sakura asked desperately. She felt her mothers hand steal across the table and take hers; her voice was fierce. "He won't. He can't. He just can't."

Saiyuki asked Sakura to eat her soup and she obeyed. Slowly, swallowing each spoonful around the lump in her throat.

Sakura had just finished when the door opened. Her father walked in and was surprised to see her at the table. He hurried over and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry. I never thought…I was cruel, insensitive to your pain. I'm sorry. I love you child. And if you want, you can see him again. I won't stop you."

"It's not you I'm afraid of stopping me. I'm afraid…I'm afraid he'll be taken from me. Time will steal him away before we're ready. That's…that's not fair…is it? It's not! It's not fair!" she sobbed into her father's chest. He stroked her hair and when she was done crying he picked her up bridal style and brought her to bed. Not her own, but his. He lay her down and pulled up the blankets. He told her he loved her then joined his wife in the doorway. They turned off the lights but left the halls light on, leaving the door open a crack. If anyone understood ghosts it was her father.

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The next morning her father woke her up around eight. Her mother made her shower, eat breakfast, dress, things she would do before without thinking. She drove her to the hospital and kissed her cheeks. "I'll be back to pick you up tonight."

Sakura nodded and returned the kisses, thanking her mother for everything. Then she jumped out of the car and slowly headed to the elevator. She rode to the seventh floor and when the doors opened the silence pressed in on her. She sat in the room and cursed the silence. It gave her a chance to think. Did he know it would hurt to die? Was he trying to kill himself? What had made him do it? The guilt pressed in on her as much as the silence. Still she waited in the silence and guilt. Watching people walk through the lobby. Tsunade showed up one day and she never saw the woman leave, she guessed she was working around the clock to help Sasuke. She saw nurses and doctors who spoke in hushed, urgent whispers. She overheard words; kidney damage, overdose, intention, unconsciousness.

Sakura waited for hours, days. Being picked up at night and dropped off in the morning.

She didn't see much of the others. She heard that Sai had been spending hours training with Kakashi. Hinata and Naruto visited the hospital from the time Sakura left to when she came back in the morning. They were avoiding her, afraid of making her sad again. She didn't hate it. She knew that she probably would get even sadder if she saw them.

It was 4 days before there was any news.

A nurse walked up to her and sat down next to her. Sakura's heart hammered in her ears as the woman took both of her hands in her own. She gave a small smile, "Uchiha Sasuke regained consciousness this morning. He's still weak but he's coherent. We would like you to see him." Sakura felt a wave of tears hit her and pressed her hands to her cheeks. "You're a med-nin. You understand the situation don't you Haruno-san? He's weak and you won't be able to stay long. However, he's in hysterics. He's positive that you're mad at him, that you hate him."

"No!"

"Haruno-san. You have to tell him that. However, don't expect him to be himself. He's groggy from medication and he's been through a heck of a lot this week. He's a survivor if I ever saw one. Right now, he's still in pain and he's very sick. Understand?"

A quick nod.

"Then let me be straight with you. It won't do him any good to see you cry. So if you can't keep a stiff upper lip then we better hold off for a bit."

"No! I'll calm down. I will. Just let me see him, please." she pleaded. The nurse handed her a Kleenex and she dried her tears. Sakura got herself under control, and then allowed herself to be pulled up by the hand.

She was led through the CCU doors and down a hall. It was quiet but for the beep of machines. She was led to a room and the door was opened. She peered into the room and saw a figure lying on a bed. Their were tubes and IV's running into his body. He was hooked up to machines and had a mask over his face, supplying life-giving oxygen. She walked over slowly and stared down at him. "Tell him you're here." the nurse nudged gently.

Sakura leaned forward and placed her lips against his ear, saying his name. He was still as the grave for a few moments. Finally, his eye's slipped open. The deep pools of onyx staring up at nothing. His eyes slid to her and instantly widened. He brought his left hand up (the other was strapped to a board) and fumbled with his oxygen mask, trying to remove it. The nurse next to his bed reached over and pulled it away, "You can do without it for a while. We'll put it back on when Haruno-san leaves."

Sakura leaned forward and touched his hand. She clasped it gently, knowing he didn't have the strength to and not wanting to hurt him. "Sakura? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you mad? I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I love you. Forgive me...please. Forgive...please...sorry...so sorry. Forgive, love, sorry. So sorry...in the end...I was always..._always_...making you cry." His voice faded away and he slept. "Don't be sorry! It's all right-I love you!" her words were too late to rouse the sleeping boy. She pulled his hand to her tear-stained cheek and sobbed quietly. The nurse touched her shoulder. "That's enough for now. He tires easily."

Sakura was lead from the room and as soon as the nurse had left her, she ran to the phone. She held the receiver to her lips, begging her mother to let her stay the night. She said yes and Sakura curled up on the couch.

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Ok, I'm back! Well here's chapter 11. My thoughts on reaching the double digits are: "Damn my legs hurt." Lol. Well please review!!!


	12. It's alive!

Ugh. Sick. Very sick. I have a cold. Usually I can deal but this time my head hurts, the room is spinning rather nicely (thank goodness for those typing classes so I don't have to look at the keyboard), I haven't slept, and my neck is sore. My throat is too but the muscles in my neck are killing me. ACK! Hold on a sec stumbles to medicine cabinet and grabs Tylenol okay now I have to wait half-an-hour for that to kick in. But ok…on with the fic.

Oh wait, I have a question. What kind of person flames someone's story AND insults the writer and readers? I mean, I don't flame people. This one witch called me a crack-addict and told me to get a life, excuse me but if you have to be rude to someone else that means you don't have a life. So here are my sentiments: uck. You. Btch. And don't EVER insult my readers again. Or I will be forced to hunt you down. (of course she left it anonymous) but I have my ways. (excuse my French. Don't mean to offend anyone…well none of my readers)

Oh and:

My legs hurt bc I sit cross legged on my chair in front of the comp. After 6 hours of that they start to hurt a bit.

And thank you to all who reviewed!! I got some really nice reviews so thanks so much! cough netacough (I don't have favorite reviewers but I can't reply to neta (anonymous). I love you all **_so much_**!!)

-

And Miranda? If you see this be warned- You have to pick up the 13 vol. from the library! That's the only one I don't own! So grab that and I'll be back Wednesday!

Alright, on with the fic!

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15 minutes twice a day. That was the schedule they put Sakura on. The visits were short and at first Sasuke tired easily, but soon his strength started to return. He was able to smirk and grip Sakura's hand. The machines started to disappear and finally he was down to one IV (he couldn't eat much without throwing up. Not with his stomach lining as fragile as it was) and a few monitoring machines. He had had to have a kidney transplant and they had to pump his stomach, hence the weakness in his body and voice. His wrists were wrapped up and healed now- though he was under observation and he wasn't allowed any sharp instruments. He was seeing the hospital's shrink-not that he enjoyed it at all- and slowly he was getting back to his old self. (Yeah! He lives!)

It was early one Saturday morning during one of Sakura's visits that he gave Sakura's hair a tug and looked at her with clouded onyx eyes. "Sasuke-kun? What is it? Are you in pain?"

"No. But…you haven't asked me yet. You want to know don't you? Why I did it?"

"Ah…yes, but…are you strong enough? I can wait Sasuke."

"No. You…need to know."

"A-alright."

Sasuke put his head back on his pillows and looked at her. He spoke slowly, stringing his words together with spaces in between. It was hard for him to confess, she could see that. But she could also see how much he wanted to tell her the truth. "I…I didn't try to kill myself. I never meant to. I just wanted this mark to stop hurting…but I took too much. Maybe I was beyond caring. Maybe I knew what would happen…but didn't care. I'm…sorry for that. I was just being selfish. Stupidly selfish. I didn't care about what happened after a certain point. I was angry. At myself. At Orochimaru. At this mark. At everything really. I'm so…pathetic. I wasn't even strong enough to think of you. There was only pain. And then…when I realized my weakness…realized that I didn't really deserve you…I hit the fan. If I had been in a better state I probably would've launched into fits of anger. But I was so angry…and I was…hurt…and…sad." These words were hardest for him. Admitting his true feeling wasn't something he did everyday, and not something he did easily, gripping his sheets and refusing to look at her. Refusing even to open his eyes. But he went on, not allowing Sakura to speak. This scene was made for one voice alone-his. "And in the end…I just wanted to stop. If living would make me feel like that…I wanted to stop living." Sasuke slipped into silence, signaling that he was done. There was no sound for a few moments except for the beeping of the machines attached to Uchiha Sasuke. Finally Sakura spoke.

"It's…alright. You don't have…to be strong all the time. I'm happy. I'm happy that I can be with you Sasuke. I love you." with that Sakura threw herself into Sasuke's chest. He absolutely refused to wear the hospital gown ("Uchiha's do **not** wear dresses") and so the frustrated nurses said "Fine. If you don't want to wear what everyone else does then you can walk around naked for all I care!!" (half the nurse interns fainted at this point) The nurse had expected Sasuke to give in but she hadn't counted on the only Uchiha's stubbornness. He said fine and stripped to his black boxers and that way he had stayed the entire time he was in the hospital (though he now slept with a sharpened toothbrush under his bed since the night he woke up to interns drooling over his sleeping form) (A/N ahahahahahaha!! Sasuke: glarehave you ever been stalked? It's creepy. SDJ: ahahahah- hack, cough, choke ok no insane laughter until I'm better). So now Sasuke's chest was bare and Sakura's face was buried in the flawless flesh and he laid one hand on her head. His fingers slipped threw her soft pink hair and he watched her with tender eyes. _I'm so sorry, Sakura. _He thought as he pulled her face back from his chest and looked at her. "Sakura…we need to talk."

"About what?" (A/N Don't pretend to be so innocent. It's painful to watch.)

"Sakura…I think we should take a break."

"W-what?"

"A break…from each other. Just for a while. Just until I'm stronger. Not just here," he tapped the machine next to him with a knuckle. "but here too." he tapped the side of his head "And here." he touched his left shoulder.

Sakura was just opening her mouth to speak when the door opened and a nurse appeared. "Haruno-san? Your time's up ma'am. We have to check Uchiha-san's vital signs." Sakura nodded dumbly and stood quickly, turning her back on Sasuke to hide her tears. She hurried out of the room and the door closed behind her. She turned and ran out of the hall of the CCU. She kept running until she reached the streets of Konoha. From there she ran home.

Sakura burst into her house and ran towards the stairs. Her mother called her name and her father ran up the stairs after her. She ran towards her bedroom and reached for her doorknob, but her father caught her wrist before she reached it. "Sakura?! What happened, what's wrong?" Sakura brought one hand up and hid her face in it. She sniffed, "Daddy. You won't have to worry about me seeing Sasuke again. Because…because… He left me!!!" Sakura turned and ran into her father's arms. She sobbed into her palms and Taji turned his head to look at his wife who had come up the stairs. She shook her head and he turned back to look at his daughter. This really was turning into a mess.

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Sakura's eyes opened slowly and stared into the lightness of her room. She closed her eyes again, ready to surrender to sleep once more. She wasn't ready to face the world after what happened with Sasuke. That was why when she heard the soft knock on her door she curled up under the blankets and tried to ignore it. But soon the soft knocking withdrew and furious pounding replaced it. "Billboard brow! Let us in!" Sakura's friend Ino's voice came from the other side of the door. Sakura told her, weakly, to go away. Her friend's reply was "Hey! Let me in or I'm breaking the door down!!" Sakura groaned and reached for the scroll she had placed against the wall. Removing her Chakra from it she pulled it away and threw it across the room. The door opened when it was gone.

Yamanaka Ino and Hyuuga Hinata entered the room. As usual Ino was yelling her head off from being left outside and Hinata was quiet. Ino stared down at her friend and Hinata came close. "Sakura-chan? Are you alright? You haven't moved from this bed for _2 days_." Hinata frowned down at her friend, gently pushing her hair out of her face. Sakura simply shrugged. Hinata was worried, this was obvious. She gently pulled up the girls blankets and slipped into the bed next to her. (They're not lesbians _not that there's anything wrong with that, some of my bf's are gay _my friend laid in my bed before until I woke up bc she's impatient) Ino sat down on the edge of the bed. "Sakura he's not worth this. You haven't eaten. You haven't got up from this bed. You haven't moved. This isn't healthy. You have to do something, Sakura. This isn't healthy and you know it."

"What else am I supposed to do?" Sakura whispered quietly. She felt Hinata touch her cheek and she buried her face in her shoulder, sobbing. "What can I do? He doesn't want me anymore-he doesn't even love me! I don't know what to do anymore! I just don't know! I'm alone-I'm all alone! I wanted so much to be with him-and I had him! He was so close! But then-! But then-! I lost him. Without him- without him- I don't make sense! Without obsessing over him or being with him I don't make sense!! I need him-but he doesn't need me! Do you know how that feels!! To be alone and useless!!" Sakura's arms were around Hinata and were gripping her shoulders as she sobbed wretchedly into her. Hinata held onto her tightly. "You're right. Being alone is scary. It's a scary way to live." Hinata whispered. How many nights had she cried herself to sleep, feeling so helpless and useless, so alone because she couldn't do _anything_ right? It was scary being alone. But she didn't fell like that anymore. She had Naruto. Every time she started feeling like that he would appear, carefree and grinning. He made her make sense. What would she do if she didn't have him? It scared her to think about it and she buried her face into Sakura's pink hair.

"But…you're not alone…are you? You have us. _We_ love you. And Sasuke didn't say that stuff just to hurt you did he? He's not that kind of person. He said until he was stronger right?"

"Ino-chan. She's asleep."

"I know."

"? So why did you say that?"

"Because it's time we paid Sasuke-kun a visit." Ino said, standing. Hinata nodded and slowly detached herself from her friend. She made sure Sakura was covered up, drew her shades, and her and Ino disappeared from the room.

-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2 _At the hospital_

96. There were exactly 96 panels on the ceiling of Sasuke's hospital room.

67. That's how many times his heart beat per minute. (according to the machine next to him)

15. The times (in one day) he had told that ditzy intern that he _hated _hospital food.

3 days. It had been three days since he saw Sakura.

289. The times he had wondered if he had made the right decision.

289. The times he had had to resist reaching for the sharpened toothbrush under his bed, just to make the (emotional) pain **_stop_**.

1,569. The number of times he had told the empty air around him that he missed her.

Now Sasuke put his head back and put one hand under his leg to resist the urge to scratch at the scars on his wrist. It would make them bleed. It would make them hurt. It would make him forget.

That's why he pulled his hand from beneath his leg and was undoing the bandages when a soft knock hit his door. He hid the arm quickly and called for them to come in. He was surprised to see Hyuuga Hinata walk into his room, closely followed by Yamanaka Ino. He rose an eyebrow at them. "Hello Uchiha-san." Hinata said respectfully.

"Sasuke-kun." Ino grunted moodily. She plopped down at the bottom of his bed and Hinata walked over to a vase next to his bed, placing some flowers in it. She gently started to arrange them in that soft way she had. Sasuke leaned back into his pillows and turned his head to look out the window. "So? What do you two want? Surely you didn't come here just to say hi."

The two women remained silent for a moment. Hinata leaned into the flowers to smell them and spoke, "Sasuke-san? Aren't you going to eat your food?" Sasuke pushed away the tray. "No. Why? Does that look appetizing to you?"

"No. But I'm not in the hospital. You need food to heal quickly."

"What do you want?" he replied, already getting annoyed.

"Was it true? What you said to Sakura, did you mean it? You don't want to be with her?"

"…that's none of your business."

"How isn't it! Sakura's our friend!! And you hurt her so much-how can you believe that this isn't our business." Ino yelled, smacking her palms against Sasuke's bed. He didn't react. She silenced with a look from Hinata and angrily shut her trap. Hinata looked at Sasuke. "Answer me."

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't we'll just have to assume that you mean what you said. And that means we would have to accept that you don't love her anymore and tell her that. And that would just crush her. We don't want to do that Sasuke. So we have to make sure for ourselves."

"Is that what she told you? That I said I didn't love her?"

"She didn't tell us anything. We found out from someone else."

"…Good. Because I didn't say anything like that. I told her we should take a break. Not that anything had changed. Nothing has. I still feel the same way about her."

"Then why, Sasuke? Why did you leave her?"

"I didn't leave her." He said. The two girls could tell that he was angry at the terminology. "I…still love her. But I can't be with her. Not like this. Look at me. Sitting in a hospital bed, full of wires." he gave a despondent laugh. "Look at me. I'm pathetic, aren't I? I'm sickening aren't I? I can't even control my own body. I can't even control me!" He placed his face in one hand. "I can't…I won't let her see me like this. If she gets too close. If she sees everything…if I lose her…what will I do then? What could I do without her? What do I have but her? If I hurt her people would say such cruel things it'd make you sick. So…I'm sorry but I can't be with her right now. I don't want her to love me…if it's going to hurt her." Sasuke shook his head which was still in his hand. He felt Hinata sit down next to him and touch his bare shoulder. "But not being with you…is killing her. She can't do anything without you. Without you she gets depressed and lonely. Is that what you want? Is that what you intended to do when you told her you wanted to 'take a break'?"

"…" there was a pause and Sasuke closed his eyes, his other hand fisting his blankets. "No…I…don't want that. How could I want that?"

"Your relationship is still young." Finally Ino spoke from her spot on the edge of the bed. "There's still a lot that you don't know about each other. But that's ok. Because as long as you're together you can learn about one another. I'm sure you both have different qualities but that didn't stop you from falling in love did it? So if you try hard and stay together then you can learn to draw power from each other's qualities-the good and the bad. If you really love one another then you can learn to make anything work. I mean look at us. Hinata and Naruto are polar opposites."

Sasuke chuckled, "That's true." Hinata blushed.

"And me and Shikamaru don't exactly fit. But that doesn't stop us. Sakura loves you more than anything. Isn't it time you told her the same?" There was a long pause as Sasuke pulled his face from his hand.

"…yeah. Yeah. I miss her…so much. It's hard to be without her. I don't want to be without her. I…love her. 'I can't even control myself. What if I end up hurting her?' I was only thinking those things. But I didn't realize how much it would hurt to be apart. I thought it would be easier if we were apart. But it's not. No, if anything it's much harder now that we're apart. I want to be with her. I want to be with her so much. Sakura…my precious cherry blossom…I don't want to hurt you anymore. I want to be strong for you. But I can't be without you near me. I need you. I just want to be with you."

"It's alright." Every head in the room snapped to the doorway to see Sakura standing there. She had a short light pink skirt with red cherry blossoms stitched on the bottom on and a light pink Chinese-style shirt with the same cherry blossom's stitched to one shoulder. Her arms hung at her sides and her face already had tears coming down it. She took another step into the room and Hinata stood away from Sasuke. " You don't have to be strong without me. I told you didn't I? You can't let me down if I hold you up. Your strength doesn't matter to me. I…just wanted to be with you. I love you Sasuke. I love you more than anything!" Sakura ran to the boy who quickly sat up and opened his arms to pull her close. They clung to each other for a while and Hinata and Ino sat up and walked out of the room. They wanted to give the two some time alone and they also had a sudden need to go see their own boyfriends.

Sasuke buried his face in the young woman's shoulder. _'Why would someone like you stay near me…and cry for me? I don't deserve something like that. You ended up near me by mistake. This time will be different. This time I want to care for you. I don't want us to be apart. How could I ask for that? I…was so stupid. I never thought I'd be forgiven. I always assumed that no one would ever understand me. I never thought _**I**_'d hear those words.'_

_You don't have to be strong without me._

You see? Just like that you do what no one else in my life could.

You promise to stay with me.

You except me just as I am.

You _love_ me just as I am.

You don't want to change me or make me into something I'm not.

You would rather me be happy than make everyone else happy.

I love you. I love you so much. So please…even if it's a lie…say it. Tell me you love me. Just one more time. Because that'll give me the strength…to change.

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Ok that was long. But I like the last part of this chap. It's cute. And if you're wondering why Hinata was doing most of the talking it's bc Ino would probably leap across the bed and kill Sasuke if she had to put up with him (most people would). Well I'ma go eat. Cya! Oh and please review!! Much love 3. Ja ne.


	13. OOO, surprise!

Any one who insults, Sammy or I, or any other reader of this story or leaves a flame, I will hunt you down, and torture you with a thousand needles...Got it!

…This is from Miranda-anesan. She's my friend. She's…slightly overprotective. sweat drop Though she should pay more attention to HER OWN SAFETY. Yaknow in daily things. Like scenes taken strait out of movies like, oh I don't know, "INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE". grumbles unhappily

Ok so let's go-on with the fic. 13th chapter with limieness! WooT!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that vol. 15 will be mine!

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_Life is weird and people are weird and when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours we join up with them, fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. Love and you'll never wonder why you're here. _

-My friends senior quoteShe's still searching for it, but I hope she finds love soon.

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Sasuke pulled away from the hug he was in and claimed Sakura's lips in his own. He kissed her roughly, possessively, leaving no doubt in her mind that she was his. His lips ravage hers and his big hands cup her chin so she can't pull away for air. Sakura fisted his dark spikes and held him tightly with her other hand, afraid of falling backwards if she didn't.

It was then that they heard a sound at the door. They parted and flew around. The nurse at the door seemed less than amused, "Excuse me but I need to check Uchiha-san's vital signs." Sasuke smirked as Sakura tried to wriggle out of his grip. "Sakura already did that. Believe me, they're fine." (ahaha)

"I'm sure she did." the nurse muttered. Sakura pushed at Sasuke and tried to get out of his grip but he was adamant, his grip steel. He wanted her and what an Uchiha wants, an Uchiha gets. "Can we do this later? I'm busy." Sakura hissed Sasuke's name but he ignored her. "No, we cannot wait until later! Now stop messing around and lie down. And you, off the bed." The nurse pointed to Sakura who took the momentary distraction to leap out of Sasuke's arms. She made a mental not to tell the girls about this later, they would probably find this funnier than she did. They probably be in hysterics by the end of her story. She was bright red now and nodded to the nurse. Sasuke grumbled and lay back. As the nurse checked Sasuke over he watched her. He sent her little looks and smirks. His eyes perusing her body hungrily. By the end of his check up Sakura was still red and her skin was prickling.

When the nurse was gone he flicked his head, silently beckoning her. She walked to him as if under a spell and allowed herself to be pulled down by him once more (remember last time). He wrapped his arms around her tightly. He was still lying down on the hospital bed so she was lying next to him on it's warmth. He pulled the blankets up around her and drew her closer to his form. She laid against his bare chest and heard his heart beating. She felt Sasuke's nose nuzzle the top of her head and then come to her ear. He whispered, "Sak-ur-aaa." into her ear. His voice was deep, heavy, and Sakura was forced to remember the reason she loved his so much. It was because, even after all they'd been through together, he could still do _this_. He could make her heart skip a beat, make her face heat up and her skin prickle, make her turn to jelly with just a word. It was because he was still so damn sexy, beautiful. Every movement was poetry and each word a sonnet. Sasuke took her lips once more and she could feel all of her unease melt away.

When he pulled away she whispered his name. "I love you." he said suddenly. "I love you so much."

"You're still weak."

"I'm not. I swear. And I'll die if I can't have you."

"You will not. Drama-queen."

"I will to. Too much blood in the system." he murmured into the skin of Sakura's neck. Putting her fingers in his hair she called him a liar. He chuckled and turned her around a bit, laying her on her back. Her legs were on top of his because of the way he curled his body around hers but his upper body hung in the air above her. His lips came for hers and claimed them as his own once again. She gasped because of the ferocity in the kiss and allowed her tongue to mingle with his. They battled for dominance and this time Sakura didn't back down, she battled him fully, not ready to give him control yet. Her hands came up to grip his neck and she plunged her tongue continuously into his mouth, matching his fierceness and biting his tongue, surprising the Uchiha. Though he couldn't say he minded.

They continued like this for a few minutes before they were interrupted by a loud beeping. Sakura had accidentally pulled off the thing on his chest that monitored his heart. She reached over and, using her med-nin training, silenced the machine as Sasuke ran kisses from her last rib to her hip, with teeth. He bit her hip and Sakura gave a small yelp. She pushed him away and healed the mark before Sasuke could lick away the small amount of blood he had drawn and made sure her skirt was zipped up. She cursed him and he pulled her closer. They lay there panting for a few moments. Sasuke held her tightly and whispered into her ear thickly, "Now why did you go and do that? I'll just make more."

Sakura pouted cutely. "That hurt!"

"Annoying girl." Sakura laughed and pulled closer to the boy. "I love you Sasuke."

"I know. I love you too." They stayed together for a while until finally Sasuke broke the comfortable silence. "Hey, how'd you know to come here? Before I mean."

"Oh…I…didn't." She said slowly. The look on Sasuke's face called for an explanation. "I…needed to tell you something."

"?? What?"

"Sasuke. I…got sick while I was here."

"You were probably just worried. I…put you threw a lot."

"No. That's not it. I thought so too but…I went to the doctors and…Sasuke…

I'm pregnant." (did someone just suck all the air out of the room? Hahaha)

Sasuke couldn't breath. His heart skipped a beat and his lungs constricted. No. No, he said, that couldn't be. But it was. She had gone to the doctors. Got a second opinion. Did everything right. She was positive. She was pregnant with the Uchiha heir. (with they're medical know-how they can detect pregnancy very early)

Part of Sasuke was jumping for joy and screaming "Double's for me, no drinks for Sakura. We're having a baby!!"

But there was another part of him that was frantic, insane, his heart hammering now. How could that be? She couldn't, not now. He wasn't well. He was sick. He had meant what he said before, he was sick in the head and in the shoulder, he wasn't fit for a child right then! What would happen to their child? Would it be born addicted or with a curse of it's own? Would it be sick because he was? He was sitting up now, gripping the sides of his head desperately. God they were in so much trouble. Tsunade would kill them, so would Kakashi. Naurto would probably be ecstatic. Oh, god what would her parents say? He moaned. Taji was gonna kill him. Sakura was worried, saying his name, apologizing for everything. He was brought back to earth by her frantic calling of his name. He looked at her. "What?"

"Sasuke you were hyperventilating! Are you alright?"

"No I'm now alright! When did you find out?"  
"Just earlier today."

"Does anyone else know?"

"No, no one."

He was breathing hard, his eyes going everywhere, thinking of everything. He was frantic. "Oh god, we're so dead. Taji's going to murder me. He'll stick me to the wall."

"Sasuke. Sasuke! Stop. Let's take this one at a time. What should we do first?" Sasuke gave an aggravated sigh and fell back on his pillow. "I don't know." he moaned. "Just give me a minute to **think**." he begged. They were quiet for a few minutes. Sakura stared at Sasuke. He had put his arm over his eyes and laid there thinking for a minute. Suddenly she saw a wry smirk appear on his face. "Sakura…we're having a baby. _We. Are having. A…_child_." _He moved his arm to reveal one eye. Then he grinned (_actually_ GRINNED) and grabbed her hips. He sat her on his hips and stared up at her, his smile never falling. He…was _happy_. He had never thought it possible after the massacre for him to be really, truly happy. But he was. Right now he was sure this was the happiest moment of his entire life.

Sasuke held her hands and played with her fingers for a little while. Then he pulled her down to kiss her gently. Then he laid her on his chest and stared at the ceiling for a while. He stroked her hair with one hand, the other running across her back in soothing circles. They lay like that until Sakura slept and Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He stared into her stomach and saw the small, faint little line of blue. The tiniest chakra signal. He pulled up her shirt and rubbed her stomach. He couldn't help the smile on his face.

1! 2 3# 4$ 5 6 7& 8 - + \ . /+-.

Sasuke stretched in the space next to his bed. He was getting out of the hospital today nad was quite glad to be in his own clothes. He put an arm around Sakura and they walked out of his room and into the waiting room. The team was all around and looking very happy. "Guys? We have to talk to you." Sakura murmured. They all sat back down and looked at them worriedly. The couple looked at each other. They had already worked out what they were going to say.

"You see, Sakura went to the doctors because she thought she might be sick. But that wasn't exactly it. Sakura's…well Sakura's kinda-"

"I'm pregnant!!" Sakura yelled happily. Sasuke glared at her and Sakura smiled sheepishly. "EHHHH?!" Came the collective sound from the room. Everyone stampeded over to them. All screaming and Sakura laughed at the attention. Naruto clapped Sasuke on the back, grinning. "Wow, you work fast don't you teme?!" He laughed merrily. Suddenly Sasuke was in the air, yelping and screaming to be let down. "Release me! Let me down or I'll kill you!!" he screamed to Naruto, Sai, and Kakashi, who had put him on their shoulders and were now singing "Oh he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow!!"

Sakura was now answering countless questions from Ino, Hinata, and Shizune. Hinata had clasped her hands and Ino had her arms around her shoulders while Shizune happily patted Sakura's stomach. The group were shooed from the hospital and made quite a ruckus as they walked down the street, already making baby shower preparations.

The group finally calmed down at Naruto's house. Sasuke pulled Sakura down next to him and put his arm around her. She beamed at him and he kissed her temple. Hinata handed everyone some drinks and plopped down next to Naruto. Kakashi sat on the arm of the couch next to Sasuke and the couple were blasted with questions. When most of them were answered they all turned to Kakashi. It was like the toast at a wedding, you knew who it was going to come from and everyone just got quiet to hear what he would say. He looked up from his Icha and glanced at them. He looked at Sasuke and spoke bluntly. "Do you think you can handle this? You're not in the best of shape right now."

Sasuke's face hardened and his body tensed. These were questions for him and he needed to past this little test. "I…love Sakura. And my child. I'll do anything for them. I can take care of this. I…can be strong…for them. This curse is mine alone. I won't let it hurt them."

"What about her parents?"

"…I'll deal with them later. It's not like they can do much. Sakura's 18 and I'm turning 18 in a month. It's my child. Not theirs. **I**'ll make the decisions in this family." Sakura smiled and pulled close to him. He was _such_ a male. But it made her glad to hear him call her his _family_.

"So you've decided then? What you're going to do?"

"Yes."

The Copy-nin gave a crinkle-eyed smile. "Then I hope it works out for you." Sasuke smirked and nodded. Naruto cheered. They all-I guess you could call it 'partied'-for a long time.

That night Sasuke and Sakura walked towards Sakura's house, waving goodbye to Naruto and Hinata. As soon as they were out of site things got quiet between the two. "Sakura. We can wait. Are you up for this? It won't stress you too much, will it?" Sasuke said worriedly. Sakura shook her head.

"It's better to do this now. If they find out threw someone else Daddy will kill you."

"So we're going _closer_ to the person who's going to kill me?"

"Yup." she giggled. Sasuke sighed and looked up at the house. It seemed like years ago that he ran away from this house after that fight with Taji. Sasuke may not be able to run this time. He wondered silently if he had remembered to update his will. Sasuke sighed and followed Sakura into the house.

Half an hour later the Haruno's (and Sasuke) were all gathered in the living room. Sasuke was leaning against the door way. Taji was standing on the opposite side of the room next to the couch. He had his face in one hand. Sakura's mother was sobbing into her hands on the couch. Sakura was standing in the front of the room, her head bowed and her hands at her sides. Finally Taji looked up and crossed his arms across his chest. "How…how could this happen?"

"How? You were the one who dragged us from my bed. It's kind of obvious isn't it?"

"Don't get smart with me Uchiha! I am not in the mood to deal with you!"

"Well you better get in the mood. Because this is my kid too."

"And who says you're getting any where near my grandchild!!?"

"Like you're gonna keep me from my kid!! Go ahead, try it. I'll break you!!"

"Now hold on here!" Sakura's mother piped up, separating her hands. "We haven't even discussed Sakura's _options_. There are things to discuss."

"What options?" Sasuke said scornfully. If she was thinking what he thought she was he was sure he'd puke.

"Sakura, honey, have you given any thought to adoption? Or, I know it sounds gruesome but, abortion?"

"WHAT?!!" Sasuke roared. "NO WAY! NO FRICKIN' WAY!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! WHAT THE HELL KINDA PARENT ARE YOU??!! WHAT THE FRICK IS YOU PROBLEM???!!!!!" How dare she tell him to kill a child? His child? The only reason he didn't leap on the people now was the woman who had grabbed hold of him and forced him to calm down. If he didn't he might make her fall and that might hurt the baby. Saiyuki stood. "Don't question my parenting. I just don't want my daughter to be at a disadvantage her whole life by having a child she wasn't ready for!"

"She won't be! I know how to take care of my family!!"

"And how exactly is that! You know you have a child for a few hours and suddenly you're a genius in child care and taking care of a 'family'? You're just a child trying to play an adults game." Taji said angrily.

"Oh yeah?! I'm a thousand times more of a man then you are!"

"You can't even take care of yourself." Taji hissed angrily. Sasuke grit his teeth.

"Father!" Sakura yelled, still clutching Sasuke.

"I don't have to deal with this." Sasuke said, turning away. He walked into the hall. He turned back to Sakura. "Are you coming?!" Sakura jumped a bit but followed him. Sasuke stormed out of the house with Sakura on his heels.

Sakura hurried to his side and gripped his arm tightly, saying his name. He looked at her and slowed a little. He sighed. "What was I supposed to say, Sakura? He's right. I can't even take care of my own pathetic self. Much less you and my baby. What'll I do?" he said softly. Sakura took his face and rose it to her own. "We'll find a way. There are so many choices in this world Sasuke. How is it that we can't find our own happiness? You're strong. I know you can protect us."

He smirked, "Where do you get this absolute confidence in me?"

"Love." she said simply, kissing him. He smiled behind her lips. _I guess we can, huh?_ _I'll change. And I'll take care of you. We'll be a family. Just you, me, and the baby. _

Sakura coaxed him back to her parents and he said he was sorry for storming out. They apologized for being so defensive. At the end of the night they ended up all sitting on the couch talking and laughing happily, just like a real family. Sasuke's first.

THE END

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Well that's it. That's the official end of 'Numb'. It's been real guys. Really, this was great. Idk, I may make a sequel someday, we'll see.

Yup Sakura's pregnant, Sasuke's happy, and the family's all together. Sasuke can give up those drugs. It'll be hard but he will. I should know. I wrote it. XD

Well I'll be seeing you guys around. I'll miss ya.

I wish you all the best. Much love.

SDJ


	14. SEMI Important NOTE

Hey! No I'm sorry, no new chappies. Numb is done. But a friend of mine wrote a sequel...I think it's pretty cool. Her name is sentientbutnotalive and the fic is called 'Child of the Numb' You could check it out if you want. I just wanted to alert you guys.


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